Boredom

Boredom: the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest

That would describe my "state of being" today. I did make a list of things to accomplish at work on this fine Wednesday, (yes, um, they all had to do with my job....) but I'm still just BORED. I think it is not from lack of entertainment, but from the fact that I just want to get out of this situation. I gave my notice four weeks ago, which seems like a really long time to stay somewhere. I only have 11 days left after today, and I'm going to make the best of it, but it is going to take lots and lots of caffeine, web-surfing, office-supply-art-making, day dreaming, and...I don't even know what else, to get me through.

I know what you're thinking, "Come on, Jen, you've made it through 1460 hours of this job and only have 91.5 left. Plus your hair looks really good today, and even though your socks don't match your purse, (or your pants or shoes) they do match each other, nice work. And after December 5th you are totally free to do whatever you want every day. You won't have any income to speak of and you do have two cats to feed and a mortgage to pay, but hey, you won't be bored anymore. So suck it up!"

Okay, okay, you're right (thanks for noticing my hair. And socks, I think.)

In honor of this topic, here is my list of stuff to do when you are so bored you are seriously contemplating getting the name of your deceased gerbil, Mr. Mickbitsy, tattooed on your forehead:

• Look up that word you used yesterday when you were describing to your parasitologist the hairy thing you noticed, but weren't exactly sure you knew what it meant. The word, not the hairy thing, that's why you were seeing the parasitologist. When I did this I learned that "bucolic" is not a disease you get when you visit Mexico.
• Name your toes. Since you asked, from left to right, mine are: Brisket, Topper, Flipsy, Dixie, Pooper, Popper, Dominic, Gertrude, Slinky, and Maverick.
• Plan your dream vacation
• List all of the people you've _______. Pick a verb. You know, list all the people you've kayaked with, crossed the border illegally with, shared recipes with, swing danced with, made fun of, drawn while naked (them, not you), worked with, bred purebred racing horses with, etc.
• Try to list all 50 states. Once you've done that, list the ones you've been (arrested) in.
• Compile a list of your favorite vanity plates and pick one out for yourself. I was thinking "FREE2B" would be a good one for me. Sure beats "PRNCESS".
• Think of a way to impress your eye doctor with your X-ray vision and laser-beam-shooting eyeballs next time you visit.
• Invent a new board game involving deep sea creatures, the music library of Leonard Cohen, and lots of diamonds.
• Send money to someone who really needs it. (I'm pointing to myself, in case you didn't get that part.)

The Last Days of Powerpoint

I just realized this morning that I will no longer have access to Powerpoint to make my ridiculous NexJen Center of Awesomeness slide shows. This was so disturbing to me that I fell asleep. When I woke up I made this:

Perhaps I will come up with some kick-butt alternative that involves, whaddyacallit, interpretive dance. And Youtube. We'll see.

***

One thing I know for sure, I'm going to have to be much more organized when I start working from home/running my own business. This weekend I did a cleaning and organizing project and it was pretty successful. I had this plastic container with hanging file folders that contained all of my important documents and lots of other random stuff, too. Whilst looking through the important documents I got so incredibly bored and agitated I was afraid my brain would force me to the kitchen where I would then get a fork from the utensil drawer and stab myself in the eye. Thank goodness I came up with an alternate plan: don't look at the boring crap!

***

Basically, the entirety of the plan looks like this: When I get a document that seems important (dealing with health insurance, car insurance, home owner's insurance, property taxes, kitty taxes, social security, etc) I open it to make sure I don't have to pay anyone and then I file it away. Possibly forever, never to see the light of day again, but at least it's somewhere if the IRS or CGB knocks on my door. The second part of this plan is that in a couple of years I will be doing so well, financially, that I can pay someone else to you know, do that icky stuff. My step dad already does my taxes (thankyouthankyouthankyouletmebakeyousomecookies) for me, but maybe once a year someone else should tell me if I've missed something important.

***

I must get back to the important task in front me now: counting down the minutes until the weekend.

Dynamic Dentistry

This morning I woke up with something to really look forward to: My semi-bi-annual visit to the dentist. Today's visit was especially exciting because not only did I have the standard gum-pulling and tartar-vaporizing session lined up, I also knew I was having an old filling drilled out and replaced.

I wasn't feeling terribly hungry this morning so I skipped breakfast, thinking I'd eat it right after the dentist appointment, maybe even in the parking lot. Ha! Did I think they were going to replace my filling without numbing the entire left side of my body (brain included)? Or maybe I thought that the numbing would be done with pixie dust? Or perhaps a compound made from unicorn hair and toad warts that would be gently applied by magical, miniature faeries?

No such luck. I had a numbing agent applied to my inner cheek, then two giant needles worth of Novocaine were stuck in my gums. Needless to say my mouth and head region were far, far too numb to consider eating after my appointment was over. Or apparently thinking, because today at work the only thing I've accomplished is lunch. Oh, and bathroom breaks!

Just so you know, what I write on this blog is, I would say, on average, during a month with two full moons, between 35 and 75% true, approximately half of the time.

For those of you who are still here, I was creative this weekend!



Both of these were made with polymer clay and lots of love. I am moving out of the funk I was in and appreciating the fact that I will be done in just a few weeks! I can't wait to be home full time and create and write and then in January, start my courses to be a life coach. Life is looking good! Especially now that the feeling in my face has returned.

Ehhh.

Ever feel like you were really lacking in creativity? That there was no possible way you could make anything interesting, even given the fact that you have a brand new trade magazine in your hands, just aching to be cut up and made into something stunning? Or that you wouldn't be able to come up with anything interesting to say on your blog because today, to be quite honest, you're just not that interesting?

Well, I feel that way today but I have excuses:

• It's dark and murky outside for the second day in a row
• My job is boring
• I have peanuts stuck in my teeth
• My socks don't match my pants
• This morning I pulled something out of the drain of the shower that I couldn't even look at for fear that making eye contact with it would paralyze me or send me into some sort of spasms. I think I've got a touch of post traumatic stress disorder over the whole thing.
• I still have not heard from the publishing company I sent my book query package to and approximately 300 million years have passed...I'm pretty sure the mastodon/editor that I sent the stuff to got stuck in a tar pit on his or her way to the mail room.

But it's Friday and that means no pants for two days, which may help with my creative dry spell.

I'm back to my favorite subject again, trees:

I figure I may as well make office supply art while I still can, so this is Post-It Note, pencil, and recycled copy paper piece. See the one random black box in the space occupied by the lower right hand tree? I always try to use materials that would otherwise go in the trash, and this had a mistake on it and couldn't be reused. I am really happy with this piece and when Amy saw it she said she wanted it. But, extra-demanding-with-a-cherry-on-top as always, she wants it matted and framed first. If I can manage to keep it from being destroyed (crumpled, stepped on, torn, spilled on, set on fire, etc) I might actually have it professionally prepared and give it to her as a going away gift. Yes, I'm the one going away, but she deserves a gift for putting up with me for as long as she has. In fact, not only has she put up with me so far, she's even taking me to a place called Sante Wine Bar after my last day of work and buying me both wine and cheese. If there was going to be peanut butter and hog-tying my night would be perfect.

When Amy saw the above creation, Turtles Mating In A Gently Rocking Doughnut, she told me I was going to be famous one day. I asked what for, and she said anything I want. Hmm, that sounds dangerous. I'd like to be known for my impeccable dental hygiene and pancake-eating skills, do you think that could work? As a distant second choice, being a world-famous author/blogger/artist/Awesomeness Inspirer/cab driver would be okay, too.

I have to get back to being my effortlessly creative self now, TG tomorrow IF!

Bitter Sweet

A decision has been made about my replacement. A job offer hasn't been extended yet, but that should happen soon.

My last day will still be December 5th, but I may not have a long weekend prior to my last week as I had planned, since I could be training this new person that week. Things will be worked out somehow so I either get the time off at a different date or get paid for the days.

I'm feeling sort of sad, oddly. Not sad about leaving my position, but certainly sad about some of what I'll be missing. Specifically my coworker Amy. And there are some other people and situations I'll miss, too. However, the interviews this morning really reaffirmed for me that I don't want to be part of Corporate America. The silly (to me) questions, the managing, the making up professional sounding phrases to say the simplest things, the egos. It's not for me!

I can see very clearly that what I really, truly want to do is help other people find their own way. I want to enrich people's lives and help them find their center, their purpose, and their passions. And yes, I want to make pancakes, be silly, write humorously about my life as a working stiff, and spend lots of time petting my cats. I am incredibly thankful for the opportunities I've had in my life and even for this job. I am so looking forward to the next chapter in my life, which will be here after 17 to 19 more working days.

I genuinely hope my replacement loves their job here and stays a very long time.

Time for me to make some office supply art while I still can....

99th Post! And It's About Hiring My Replacement!

Wow, 99 posts already? Wish I had thought of some way to celebrate...

I'm on a break between interviewing candidates to be my replacement. At work, not in my personal life.

As we were interviewing I was thinking, "Thank God no one is ever going to ask me questions like these again." Things like: "Tell us about a time when two people you were supervising had a conflict and you had to use your management skills to mediate the situation. How did you handle it? What was the outcome?" I wish I could add something funny into that question but then it would take away how incredibly boring that sort of thing is for me. I want to help people find their passion and their joy, and maybe for some people answering questions like that does it for them, but not me!

Also, one of the questions is (not kidding): "What Disney character would you be and why?" My answer? "Donald Duck. Because he doesn't wear pants."

Gotta get back to the grind...