Monday, April 27, 2009

I'll Put My Paperclips in a Box For You


Today's Office Supply Art Project is:

Bad Ass Business Card Box

Step one:

Get a pile of your business cards. Or your boss's business cards. If you do not personally have business cards, go to an establishment, say a sub shop, that has one of those containers on their counter that people put their business cards in hopes of winning a free lunch, and steal some of those. You'll need 7 total.

You may be wondering if you can always count on me to provide amazing photographic tutorials such as the one above. I will not disappoint you.

Step two:

See? More quality photography from Jen. Give me a break, I'm a life coach, not a photographer. So, what's going on in this step? I made this box more than 12 minutes ago, so it's already sort of fuzzy in my mind. Oh, okay, hold one card up to the other, but perpendicular, so you can cut two of the business cards to the right height for the ends of your box.

Step three:

Actually, this isn't a step, I just wanted you to see that now the other business card has been cut and is the same height as the other business card, but it just looks like a miniature light saber. It reminds me of the time, a couple weeks ago, when I had my pupils dilated and everything looked much brighter than it should have. My white cat looked like she had been sent down from heaven to give me a message from God. That message was "more kitty treats and less back talk, please."

Step four:

Layout the business cards in the above formation.

Step five:

Tape the cards together. I know you can't see the tape, but it's there. Try not to get too much cat hair in it like I did. It leads to an unprofessional final product.

Step six:

What the heck is that??? Oh, yeah, I'm folding the sides of the box up and taping them. You can do it, too.

Step seven:

Again, this isn't a step. This is just how the box might look when you're done taping up the sides. Yours might not look quite this professional, but with time you'll develop my level of skills.

Step eight:

Not a step. Again. This is another picture of my water tight box. Stop smirking.

Step nine:

Are we done yet? No, the box needs a lid in case you want to use it to contain important documents. Get one more business card.

Step ten:

Tape it on. Fill it with nuclear waste so it glows like mine.

Step eleven:

Put some stuff in the box, just so you feel truly accomplished.

You may have noticed from the photos an area rug under my work station. That is because I assembled my box on the floor of my home. I no longer work in an office, because working in them literally caused my soul to start seeping out of me, and it was terribly messy to keep cleaning up. So I quit. Actually, I quit to become a writer and life coach, and I feel well equipped to hook you up with some ideas on how you, too, can find a way to leave that soul-seeping job. So I present to you....

My daily "Live your life the way YOU want to!" tip:

What, exactly, do you want to look back on?

This is an essay question. I want you to close your eyes (unless you're reading this on your Blackberry, which is being held in one hand while you steer your car with the other) and picture yourself when you're quite old. Like 30. Okay, okay, be serious, Jen! Picture yourself around 80, or even older if you're ambitious and most of your meals don't revolve around bacon.

So, you're 80 years old, sitting on your front porch/sail boat/dragon and telling someone about your life. Think back to your current age and your current job and/or life situation. What do you want to say about the decisions you made at this point?

For instance, when I was at my previous job I was completely miserable, but kept putting off quitting because I was afraid. Afraid I'd run out of money, afraid my boss would be mad, afraid I'd let down my family. But when I let my mind sprint into the future and look back, I realized that if I kept staying in a place that tainted my whole life, and refused to pursue my dreams because I was afraid, staying at the job would not be the story I wanted to tell.

What story do you want to tell? Allow your imagination to travel, but keep your "rational" thoughts out of it. This is about your LIFE. The one and only life you're going to get in this body, with the talents you've been blessed with. Yes, I consider your amazing ability to make armpit fart sounds a gift. I'm not telling you to make a huge change today, I'm telling you to think, seriously, about what you really want to have experienced in your life.

Please try this if you're unhappy with your life! I don't even care if you make the Bad Ass Business Card Box!


Caitlin at Healthy Tipping Point said...

yup just raw kale! try it :) you'll like it!

Lee Ann said...

I love this!