Camping Is Not For Sissies

What exactly is a sissy? I just looked it up and it means an effeminate man or boy or a timid or cowardly person. Camping is definitely not for a coward, especially the longish camping trip Anthony and I are about to embark on.

I like to pride myself on being one of those people who isn't into material things. I haven't bought new shoes for quite a while (other than running shoes, those need to be kept newish so you don't hurt yourself), most of my clothes bear the logo of one of my former employers and were given to me for free or at a steep discount, and my truck is old enough to drink. Seriously, it was born in 1988.

Yet somehow when we start to pull out all of the junk we need just to take a simple camping trip and be able to sleep, stay warm, prepare a meal, and light a campfire, I become overwhelmed by the amount of stuff it takes! And that's not even close to all of the stuff that we have in our house! We have milk crates filled to the brim with canned goods and paper towels, bags stuffed with beach towels and underwear, and camping gear coming out of our ears.

That's why I say camping is not for sissies. You have to find it, pack it, cram it, yell at it, drive it hundreds or thousands of miles away, unload it, keep it (kind of) clean, repack it, wondering why you can't get it to fit back in the same damn way it was before, drive it another few hundred or thousand miles, unload it, clean it, leave it in the dish rack or on the living room floor for two weeks, and then put it away. Exhausting! But worth it.

For the next week or two I'll be sleeping under the stars and showering infrequently, but if I ever get a chance to hit an Internet cafe, I'll check in.

Baking with style

Look what I made today out of paperclips, rubber cement, and number 2 pencils:


Hard to believe, right? Yeah, okay, it's really made from whole wheat flour, flax seed meal, molasses, brown sugar, and spices - it's a gingerbread cake!

I got all artistic with my photographs of it:

Well, at least I tried to. That way my blog would seem longer and you would be even more impressed than usual.

That's it for pictures of my cake. Did I say my cake? Whoops, I made it to bring to my parent's house for dinner tonight, so I guess it's "our cake".

I am mostly really impressed with this because it came out of the Bundt pan without breaking into a million pieces. I may make very delicious baked goods, but they are often not very attractive, it's kind of my calling card. Mmm, that carrot cake looks great, why is there a big dent in the middle? Oh, you dropped it when you were trying to get it out of the pan?

I am feeling more excited today than I was when I posted yesterday. I had my very last session with my life coach, Barbara, this morning. It was pretty much just a wrap up. When I started with coaching I had NO CLUE what I wanted to do and was in a job that made me feel awful. Now I'm free from that job and much, much happier, but it's time to get into the swing of things with my new career. I need to successfully hold a workshop and get some clients to get that sense of, "This is my career, look, I'm even getting paid to do it." All in good time. First I have to get tan (or less pasty, at least) in Florida.

Not Even Burritos

In the end not even burritos could make my mini-sized workshop come together. My girls had conflicts with work and lack of sleep, which means I get to practice my material on...no one. Oh well. Luckily I have plenty to keep my mind off my lack of refried beans, salsa, and feedback. Like, oh, I kind of have to pee. And I'm kind of hungry. And the TV is loud and flashy and full of bright and shiny colors.

See? There is plenty to keep me occupied.

Okay, I'm kind of bummed. I just realized this is sort of the end of the first chapter of my self-employment and life change stuff. Tomorrow is my last day with my awesome life coach, Barbara. I do feel ready to move on, specifically because I've moved into my life coaching course and have buddies to coach and be coached by, homework, and lots of supportive people in my life. It's the end of my first experiment in the world of life coaching, since my workshop is now officially...umm dead? Or at least comatose until I come back from vacation and revive it.

When I get back from vaca it's time to refocus on what I can do to gain clientele, to keep myself motivated, to continue to get published, to increase my coaching skills, etc.

Change is pretty much a regular part of my life, as much as flossing my teeth, filling up my gas tank, pulling Coconut's tail. Some things in my life are more stable than they used to be. For one, I've actually lived in the same town for more than four years. And I've lived in my house for three years (to the day!). When I was in my late teens and early 20's I lived in tons and tons of states and in all sort of different apartments, rental houses, and tents.

This is a change I chose, and it's a positive one. And now I have to pee.

Burritos Will Make It Better

After all my hard work of sitting around the house waiting for someone to decide to come to my workshop, I had to cancel it. I had to cancel it because no one signed up, save one friend who signed up because she is wonderful and one friend who signed up because I told her she had to come or there would be terrible consequences for her, and her little dog, too.

I'm not really all that disappointed about it, because now I don't have to stand up in front a group of people while wondering if I'm going to wet myself or if it's possible for my face to literally burst into flames because I'm so nervous and embarrassed. Now I just have to eat refried beans and tortilla chips.

Since I had to cancel the workshop but have a (my very last!) session with my life coach, Barbara, the next day, I felt the need to present the material to someone to get some feedback. After asking Nola and Coconut if they'd be willing to fill out the evaluation sheets for me and getting only a blank stare and a mouthful of fur from a tail in my face, I decided to ask the previously mentioned friends (Christy and Amy) if they would like to meet for dinner so we could catch up and I could practice my material on them.

I say I'm doing this because of my session with Barbara, and the fact that she's going to want to know how the workshop went and what I learned from my experience, but I'm really meeting with them for the food. The place where we're going has this incredible bean dip that they serve with their tortilla chips instead of salsa and the chips are always hot and fresh and the burritos come in all varieties and are out of this world...and okay, the food is a great incentive, but the real reason I'm doing the mini workshop is because I genuinely want feedback.

This is all very new and weird for me, the whole acting responsibly and trying to do scary things that make me want to throw up thing, because I generally avoid all new and scary experiences all together. If I have to experience them, I pretend they're not happening or I eat lots of cookies while they're happening so I still maintain (in my mind) that they're not happening.

So tomorrow night is a good stepping stone for me. I'm not actually standing up and giving a presentation to a bunch of people, but I am going to share my ideas, theories, heart, nerves, and handouts with my two friends to get their responses, suggestions, and maybe something I say will resonate with them and will spark my inspiration and desire to try, try again with another workshop in the future.

If not, at least there are burritos.

Hey Guess What

I really did want to write a brilliant blog post about toilet paper, but I think it's just going to have to wait. First off, it's 10:30 at night and my brain is not at peak performance right now; that usually occurs somewhere between 8:47 am and the sixteenth time of the day Nola wants to go out, which is around 8:52 am. Second, I'm tired. Third, I'm wearing my glasses, which are older than most 6th graders, because my contacts were dry. Trying to truly function while wearing them is like trying to breathe through Jello. Jello with mango pieces in it.

I did have a good day - I got to hear the real, live voice of Martha Beck, life coach, author, funny person that I really look up to. She taught the first of the six sessions she, well, teaches, during our seven month course. I'm going to meet her in July when I go to the Martha Beck Coaches Conference in Chicago. That is going to be SO AWESOME.

So, tomorrow maybe I'll feel more inclined to write about something.

Stinky Fishy Kitty Couches

Do you know what the most creative thing I've done today is? Sang a song to Coconut about how HORRIBLE her breath is. Seriously, I have no idea what is wrong with this cat. Good thing she is already spayed because Lord knows she's never going to snag a man with that fishy stink seeping out of her. Blech!

Actually, I also worked on a newsletter for my workshop.

LIVING JOYFULLY ON A BUDGET How to enjoy life for less Register Now! When: Tuesday, January 27, 6 to 9 pm Where: Oriental Pavilion at the Westgate Plaza Cost: $25 plus dinner (budget options available) Register: Contact Jen Trinque by Friday, January 23rd Contact: jentrinque@gmail.com 828-734-1422 View the flier! Bring a Friend and Save! Mention this newsletter and register with a friend to get the special discounted price of $15 per person! Cost does not include dinner Greetings! I'd like to remind you that the Living Joyfully on a Budget workshop is only 5 days away! Learn to live joyfully! This workshop will help you focus your energy on enjoying what you already have in your life without spending a dime. I'll talk about simple budgeting tools to assist you in figuring out where your money is going, what you're really gaining by spending, and how to refocus your intentions and embrace what you have. We'll also discuss ways to fit in some fun extras in life for less than what you'd usually spend! Please join me Tuesday, January 27th from 6 to 9 pm for this fun, interactive workshop. Living Joyfully on a Budget is only a workshop away.... Sincerely, Jen Trinque Joyful Coaching

Wow, I can't believe I was actually able to cut and paste this baby in here...we'll see how it looks up on the blog though! Okay, it looks totally weird on the blog, but I trust you to know it doesn't look so wacky in real life. Yes, I know, my phone number is on here, so if you do want to call me, please do it during waking hours. (Eastern Time, I'm usually awake and available and sober between 12 and 8 pm, with the exception of naps and feeding times and when I'm watching my soaps. Don't believe anything I say.)

You may notice I'm offering a two-fer. Yup, I've got NO ONE coming. Okay, one person, who is actually the freakin' CPA at the place I used to work (wait, if a CPA wants my help to live joyfully on a budget....) and I'm so relieved and thrilled to have her...but I need more people!

I sent this version of the newsletter to my life coach Barbara to get her feedback, then tomorrow I'm going to send it out. I'm going to see if I can think of anyone else to send it to...I just don't know that many people locally, and I'm certainly not meeting anymore by sitting in my pajamas reading books and blogging all day, not to mention singing songs to my tuna-breath cat.

Oooh, tomorrow is my second life coaching class and my first one with Martha Beck herself! She's a celebrity in my mind and I'm even reading another one of her books right now. It's going to be so weird to be hearing her voice, live! I also signed up for the coaches conference this summer where both she and Byron Katie will be appearing. Talk about exciting. For me, I mean. I don't know that it would excite the average person.

You know what, my couch is calling my name, sad and depressed since I left it to put on a batch of Spanish Rice, do dishes, and blog. I must return before it gets up and leaves me for good.

Not Much

I didn't make any art today. I watched the art of the inauguration instead. And I finally learned how to spell inauguration, which was a rough road, let me tell you.

Tomorrow I actually plan on keeping the TV off and being creative...writing, reading, maybe making some art.

Until then...

Birthdays Birthdays

Today I know three people who are celebrating birthdays. The first is my friend Daniela's husband, Attila. (He's from Hungary, where that name is absolutely completely run of the mill.) It's also my friend Christy's husband's birthday. His name is Vagan. He's from Arkansas, where that name is absolutely NOT run of the mill. I'm not making this stuff up. Last year I was with Vagan (and Christy and Anthony) on his birthday, on the Hawaiian island of Kauai, hiking in a canyon with mountain goats. Again, I am not creative enough to make this stuff up. I have no idea what he's doing this year, but I'm sitting in front of a computer screen with a sweaty T-shirt on and he lives outside of San Francisco now and has joined the Coast Guard, so I'm guessing he's not with any goats this year, either.

Last but not least, it's my dear friend Amy's birthday. I was lucky enough to have her over to my house on Friday night for an early celebration. Here she is with the cake I made her. Two things about this cake - she hates cake. So it's not cake, it's a brownie. Second, it's shaped like a cross because...it is. Don't be offended, Amy is a very faithful Christian and I promised her a religious birthday brownie this year.

I'm not sure why she looks so angry in the second picture...maybe she thought I hadn't made her a birthday card? She had nothing to fear:

It's a pop-out Jesus. He's amongst the universe, wishing her a happy birthday. Again, let me say that I honor and respect every one's religious beliefs and Amy was completely comfortable with this theme, she loved her cake, her card, and her present. Her present was the opposite of this cake and card, and I will NOT be posting a picture of it here, because it would cause her to turn a shade of red so deep and dark that her skin tone would, quite possibly, stay that color FOREVER.

She also gave me a present! It's a belated Christmas gift.

It's a cork board! With corks on it! Also, it had a gift card to my favorite grocery store, Earth Fare tacked to it. Very nice gift. Now I have something else that I will have in my office forever. (Two years ago someone I worked with had the prose "Desiderata" by Max Erhmann written in caligraphy and framed for me; it goes with my wherever I work now.)

I had one last gift for Amy:


Yup, I gave her Nola. Nola hasn't wanted to work lately and is not even washing dishes or taking out the trash anymore, so my only choice was to give her away.

KIDDING! Amy already has two dogs living in her home and I would never, ever part with my baby kitty. Wow, I really am one of those women who thinks her cats are her children.

Before I embarrass myself anymore, I'm going to go...do something. We're supposed to get snow later! I'm actually sort of excited about it because I don't have to drive and Anthony is going snowboarding tomorrow, so maybe the mountain will be good to him! I hope the roads aren't too snowy for him to go!

Nothing To See Here, Folks

Hey, it's Friday! A three day weekend for those of you who work. And you are probably even getting paid for that day off! Lucky you!

Today I have been working furiously towards completing what I need to for my evening with Amy, who will be here after work. Monday is her birthday (hence the national holiday) and I have some birthday related goodness to give her tonight. I would post pictures and tell you more specifics, but if she reads this before she leaves work she won't be surprised, so I'll have to post pictures later.

Last night was my first life coaching telecourse, it was just intros and an overview, but I'm glad the time is finally here! It's going to take some getting used to - the being on the phone and focusing and learning thing. I'm very visual and like to see things in front of me, so I'll have to work hard when I'm on the phone to pay attention to what I'm hearing and try to absorb it.

Hey, I got a new TV! I'm not really into electronics, but the old TV busted and Anthony bought us a new flat screen - I feel fancy now. It almost feels out of place in my little house, but it's reasonably sized. Remember when people just had 12 inch TVs? And 19 inch TVs? Now our TV is 26 inches and it was one of the smallest TVs they had for sale. Oh, times they are a changin'

I'm going to be Frank with you, I mean, frank, I'm watching Ellen right now and thinking about what else I have to finish before Amy gets here, so I'm going to sign off now! Have a great weekend!

Creepy

I know, I know, there were two of you who were wondering why I didn't blog yesterday. Was she finally picked up to be one of Howie's girls on Deal or No Deal? Did she finally hit the jackpot playing Keno at the Cherokee Indian Casino and split for Mexico? Or did one of her cats finally sleep on her face in such a way that she lost oxygen to the brain and is now working for Sarah Palin's campaign team in support of her 2012 bid for the presidency?

None of those things, my children, none of those things. I spent the day out and about, frolicking through the roads of Western North Carolina, searching for antiques and posting fliers about my budget workshop. Oh, and then when I got home I knocked my drink over onto the keyboard and Anthony disconnected it because it was covered in fermented grapes so unless I could telepathically communicate to the blog what I wanted written (and believe me, I tried) it just wasn't going to happen.

But let's start from the very beginning, a very good place to start. Yesterday was a quest for Anthony to find some old windows to make into those mirrors he makes, and to look for a little table to put his stereo one. I went along for the ride to go to town so I could get my fliers distributed. We were supposed to take this one back road to get there because supposedly there were some places along the way that might have sold the old windows. This road parallels the highway, just south of it. Instead we ended up north of the highway, way out in East Bummonkey. I have no clue how we ended up there. We did make it to our destination finally. Sort of. We had bad directions and never found one of the places we were looking for.

But, moving on, I did get some fliers handed in around town, and I was relieved to get that done with. Of course, people only have a week from tomorrow to sign up and so far no one has, but I am hopeful.

After we did that we went to some antique places and it was actually pretty cool. I never was much one for antiques, I did like that the places I've been to in the past smelled like my grandparent's house and that made me feel welcome, but I didn't like the stuff inside. Anyways, yesterday we found some cool furniture for the house we don't yet own that may or may not exist at this particular time. But it was still cool. Antique places really seem to be hit or miss though, some have great stuff, and some have things like this

The blurriness of the pic just makes it scarier, but why would you want this in your home??? Luckily I saw this towards the tail end of our journey, so I had already been impressed and thus a good impression had been made.

Okay, so we got home and first of all our TV is on the blink. It is, after all, ten years old, but now is not the time for it to stop working. It stops, it starts, it stops, it starts. And then I spilled my drink on the keyboard. It was a good night, really. Anthony went out and bought a new keyboard even though I spilled the drink, proving that he has even more good qualities than I ever thought possible. Also, he was telling a friend about the incident and he said, "We spilled a drink on the keyboard". I don't know how we together could have done it, but I'm glad he spread the blame around. Does that mean I can say "we" bought a new keyboard?

Okay, I am being distracted by our still not working TV and other various furry things, so ta ta for now.

Personal Grooming

If there's one thing I love more than all that stuff I named yesterday, it has to be plucking my eyebrows and trimming my nose hair. What does this have to do with office supply art and my quest for inner peace? Not much, but it's the subject of the blog today anyways.

If you know me, you know I have some eyebrows. Everybody has eyebrows, I know. But mine, without semi-hourly trimming are like the browner, female version of Martin Scorsese's. The thing is, I'm not that great at the whole trimming, plucking, torturing, waxing thing.

I try to keep them to two scary brown caterpillars instead of one, but other than that I'm not big into the eyebrow maintenance thing. One time a hairdresser waxed them for me for free because she was so late starting my appointment. They looked great except for the red rash around them that lingered for two days.

Anywho, since I've got so much free time on my hands I decided to do some tweezing yesterday morning. As I was plucking away I noticed that something smelled really funny. Cat food funny. I had forgotten that I was too lazy to find the measuring cup to portion out the cat's dry food a few minutes earlier and instead had used my hands. And neglected to wash them. So now I was performing a very unpleasant task and smelling cat food at the same time.

I pressed on and my eyebrows look a little less scary for the moment. I decided that since I'd done that yesterday maybe today I'd take a stab at trimming my nose hair. The whole time I just kept thinking, "this would be a lot more fun if my hands smelled like cat food." Actually, what I kept thinking was, "Wow, I really hope I don't slip and jam these scissors into my brain. That would be a totally embarrassing way to die." Luckily I survived and now have a few less nose hairs.

Since I was so perfectly groomed, making some more tree art seemed to be the thing to do:

Thank goodness this turned out well, because this is what happened to my bread yesterday:

Before baking

It's 100% whole grain - I knew it wasn't rising like it should, but I hoped that in the heat of the oven it would do a little better.


Can you see how little it rose, even after all that time in the oven?? It didn't even expand to the edges of the pan and it's only a few inches tall! Also, I went to check on it at one point and went to turn off the oven light but apparently turned off the timer instead. When I went back to it I had NO CLUE how long it had been in there, so I just took it out. It's still pretty tasty, just little. Maybe some cat food would have helped?

Things I Love

Do you know what I love? (Those of you who said pancakes, cats, hot showers, making fun of the television, being able to scratch a really bad itch in public without embarrassment, seeing my name in print, and making lots of money: you're right, but that's not what I'm talking about right now.)

I love not having to go to work.

It's kind of like breaking up with a boyfriend. You no longer have to be somewhere specific at a certain time or tell someone when you're not going to be were you said you'd be. You no longer have to take place in stupid rituals (like signing the birthday card of the person you don't know, contributing to the pool to buy some guy over in sales a retirement present, or showering everyday) and you definitely have more freedom. Even if the job didn't exactly prevent you from hanging out with your friends or wearing your hair a certain way, it certainly got in the way of you being who you truly are.

There are downsides, though, just like a break up. You no longer have something to do much of the time. You don't have someone to blame when you're in a crappy mood. You no longer get as much free stuff as you used to. You may not be able to afford a place to live and will have to move back in with your mother. But these are the sacrifices I was willing to make.

I am reminded by how happy I am to be jobless because my friend and ex co-worker, Amy, is back at work today after more than a week off (and she went on a freakin' cruise while she was gone!), not too mention she had quite a bit of down time prior to leaving because of the holidays. This morning she had 58 emails (which doesn't seem too bad) and her boss (my former boss) was already having a mild to moderate breakdown over something (my guess is they're out of Starbucks coffee again). I would not want to be Amy right now.

Me, I'm at home, in my bathrobe, preparing myself to take an afternoon nap, and scanning in a picture of what I started to draw this weekend:




Kind of hard to see, but it's a bunch of oddly colored trees with fall colored leaves. I might even work on this later, but I'm also making a loaf of whole wheat sandwich bread and doing some laundry, so I'm not sure if I'll get to it. See, it's not all naps and cat-petting for me.

I'm going to go now and get my hands a kneadin' and continue to thank my lucky stars I'm jobless.

Jumping the Kitty-Shark

I am super thrilled with the way the copies of my flier came out. I would post them here, except they'd look pretty much the same as yesterday's image, and that would be cheating.

Since I don't have much to write about today (I made no art and didn't accomplish much in the way of engaging in my new career, unless you think eating oatmeal is significant) so I'm going to do something easy, instead.

Cat pictures. You know how they say that a show is "Jumping the Shark" when they do something totally lame and you know that's it for the show? Often times that lame thing is adding a new kid or pet to the show to keep it fresh...you don't think that's happening to me and this blog, do you?? Let the pictures give you the answer.



It's Coconut in the tub. If I do not close the bathroom door while I'm in the shower often she is waiting at the edge of the tub when I finish my shower, just dying to lap up some of that warm, dirty, possibly soapy water. I do not know why she does this but I gather it's common with cats. Nola does it occasionally and sometimes even drinks out of the toilet bowl! I wish I had a picture of that. Sort of.

So, you know, the pics have nothing to do with anything, but they're cute, right? I just haven't been productive today, but that's okay because I got so much done yesterday. Oh! I did get an email from someone who really enjoyed my WNC woman article, and she shared her Etsy site with me, she makes some neat stuff! Check it out. Anthony was teasing me the other day because I was reading a different email from someone who enjoyed the article so he said, "reading your fan mail?" I never thought about it that way, but it's kind of flattering!

I have nothing else productive to say here, so have a great weekend and hey, maybe you can make some office supply art since I've been lacking in that department so badly.

Making Fliers Joyfully On A Budget

I thought I had my whole flier thing down pat. Meaning, I thought I could use this program online to do it and print it out and then go to Staples and get color copies made. Unfortunately, this fate did not await me.

Always up for a challenge reminiscent of 3rd grade art class, I made my own flier using only paper, rubber cement, a few swear words, a pair of scissors, some cat hair, and the inspiring words of Regis and Kelly. (Did I mention I love working from home? So much easier to watch TV if you're not afraid your boss is going to come into your office unannounced.)

This is what I came up with:


I think it works on a few levels. First off, it's sort of eye catching. Compared to the other fliers that will be up at the natural grocery store that are all covered in new age symbols and words like "Namaste", this bad boy will scream out, "read me, damnit!" Second, I think this says, "the person who made this flier obviously is living on a budget" I don't know if that's a good thing or not at this point, but hopefully the third thing it conveys is a sense of joy, which is what the workshop is all about.

I did black on my phone number on there for the web audience because, you know, I don't want you calling me in the middle of the night to ask how my cats are doing. If you want to pay me to coach you, that's a different story.

After my lunch settles and I do some more blogging, I'm going to give my business to Staples as planned, and make some color copies of this puppy. Actually, I guess it's more "kitty" than "puppy", considering all the cat fur stuck in it....

I Like My Chicken Fried

I was driving home from my mom's house today, quite happy about my productivity for the morning, when a song came on the radio that is now stuck in my head, and I'm afraid it may have moved in permanently.

I'm super lucky because in this case the lines I have stuck in my head are about fried chicken. Who doesn't want to keep singing a line about a dead chicken that's been battered and deep fried over and over and over and over? This is what is currently short-circuiting my brain:

You know I like my chicken fried
Cold beer on a Friday night
Pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio uh-up

No more! I don't like my chicken fried! I don't even eat chicken, and I generally try to stay away from fried foods. I don't really drink much beer, either. A pair of jeans that fits just right? Who doesn't like that? And sometimes I like the radio up, but not when it causes brain trauma like it has for me today. My song would be something go something like:

You know I like my veggies stir-fried
Room temperature red wine on a Friday night
Pair of jeans that aren't too tight
On my booty-yyy

What do you think? Should I switch career paths?

Anywho, today I finally secured a place to have my workshop. I have been hemming and hawing over this decision for what seems like forever, but really it's only been since last year. Ha Ha. I am holding the workshop in a restaurant called Oriental Pavilion. Classy, right? I didn't have to pay for the room, I just have to make my participants eat there. By force, if necessary.

Actually, my life coach has held things at this place before, and she suggested it and I finally listened to her. Also, last night I went to a guided meditation run by a massage therapist and a Celtic Shaman (you heard me) which was wonderful and at the end the massage therapist said I could use her space for a workshop sometime. Awesome, right?

I haven't been writing much lately, I've been focused on this workshop stuff. I did enter a contest last week put on by Skirt! magazine and I'll know the outcome of that on Friday. Also, I had signed up to blog for them and they sent a little application back, so who knows, maybe I'll have another place to write. One of my goals for March is to have my website up and running and to self-publish some books and have them available on my site.

Things are looking up, my friends. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have a flier or some other visual to post here. Until then, you're just going to have to picture me in a pair of jeans that's not too tight on my booty-yyy.

I'm Going To Join A Band

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on the couch, covered in furry beasts, unable to move anything save my right arm. First I was reading, because one arm is all that's necessary, but then I decided I wanted to be creative. I twisted around (upsetting one of the beasts) and used my single good limb to grab the cool travel sketch book my mom gave me for Christmas.

This is the masterpiece I created:


Doesn't it make you want to quit your job and join a band? Or at least start screen-printing T-shirts in your basement?

I also did some writing yesterday and lots of reality TV watching. Lame, but true. I was home alone for the evening and all my shows were repeats, frustrating! So, sadly, I got sucked into watching part of The Bachelor while I read. Not the kind of quality programing that enriches the soul, that's for sure.

Today should be a less brain-deadening day. I plan on heading to the gym in a few, then I have life coaching with Barbara at 11, and if all goes well I hope to take off to Asheville with my mom after lunch to FINALLY reserve a space to hold my workshop. It's been super frustrating for me to get this organized - I hate making phone calls and this is my first time in this process, so of course it's a new challenge. I am proud to say I think I've made a decision and I'm hoping my life coaching session will clarify that for me.

I also plan on going to a guided meditation class tonight. I planned on going to one in December, too, but bailed, and I want to get off my duff and go this time. It's something about a Chakra meditation? I already told the boy we're having an early dinner, so I should be good to go.

Wish me a productive day...

Not Funny Anymore

I haven't felt very funny lately. The blog hasn't been funny, I haven't been telling funny stories, even the cats aren't laughing at my jokes anymore.

One reason might be that I am no longer making office supply art and writing about it, namely because I no longer have access to lots and lots of office supplies and also I am not bored out of my mind anymore. I do have some paper clips and stuff lying around, but since I am happy these days, making landscapes out of paper clips isn't as necessary as it used to be. I think over the summer I may have perished if I didn't entertain myself, but these days I have other things to do. Somehow writing about these works of art made me funny.

Another reason the blog may be less funny is because I quit my job and can no longer afford to pay someone to write it for me. Hopefully by the end of the summer I can remedy that.

Until I'm either flush in the money department or I get bored enough to make a sculpture out of...something funny...I am going to have to find another way to amuse you. Like telling you about my housecleaning experience.

Today I was folding laundry and making the bed (which in itself is funny, because there was a cat under the covers so the bed ended up with a big lump in the middle of it, which I immediately disregarded) and thought, "how can I make this funny enough to blog about without resorting to juvenile humor?" I couldn't think of a way to do that, so instead I picked the obvious: I did something silly with my underwear.

Underwear is one of those things that just makes people laugh, right? Luckily over the holidays I obtained a few pairs of gift underwear, some of which are a slightly different style than I normally wear - namely when I put them on I can pull them so high up on my chest that they could double as a tube top. If I wore one out on the town with a pair of roller skates I could get a job serving Burgers and Fries in no time.

So I put them on. Over my clothes. And then cleaned the house. You know how people pay women to wear French maid uniforms to clean? Maybe I could start a business that involves me wearing giant underwear over regular clothes and scrubbing toilets. Anyways, I walked around wearing them, and I finally got a chuckle out of one of the cats! I wish I had a picture of the underwear extravaganza to show you.

I'm lying, I could totally take a picture of it right now and post it, I'm just not ready to embarrass myself that way at this time.

Phew, now I got nothing. I used up all my funny-mojo telling a stupid underwear story. Therefore, I am going to change the subject from my lack of funny to something completely different, and cross my fingers that you don't notice.

Guess what??? I got published again!


I wrote a column shortly after I left work, it's the one that Skirt! rejected because it didn't fit one of their current themes. After they didn't want it I sent it to WNC Woman, who published my last column. I hadn't heard anything from them and was wondering about it. At the same time I received the January copy of the publication in the mail, which was sitting on my entry table for days before I even bothered to crack it open.

When I did, last night, I started yelling and freaking out! There was a picture of me with my enormous underwear worn over my clothes on the front inside page! Kidding! But there was my name in the table of contents, in print again! I was having kind of a crappy day yesterday, so that was a nice surprise.

If I had a funny way to wrap this post up, I would certainly let you know.

Topics

Topic One: A year ago....

A year ago I started working at that job I didn't like. You know which one I mean, right? I think I may have mentioned it a few (thousand) times here. The first day I was nervous, and by the end of the week I was in tears, but I thought that would pass. Sadly, it never did.

Have my working conditions improved since I left the job on December 5th? I'm not so sure, look what I have to deal with now:

It's Coconut. Staring me down. Because I won't pet her when I'm trying to write! What gives? At least my boss at my old job left me alone to work in peace. Those days are long over, let me tell you.

Topic Two: Less Than Perfect Day

I wish I could say that today I was filled with light, sunshine, unicorns, rainbows, Leprechauns, etc, because I woke up and didn't have to go to work. Not quite.

I wanted to go to the gym early, but the weather wasn't so great. That's okay though, I had a chance to write and was thankful I didn't have anywhere I absolutely had to be. But when I was writing I wasn't completely feeling the vibe, and I didn't care for what I wrote all that much, which is always a disappointment.

I did get to the gym and it was successful in that I didn't hurt myself on one of the fancy machines - although I did feel sort of pathetic when a guy who had to be in his 70's could lift more weight than me on the adductor machine. Oh well, I'm building up my strength!

When I got home I checked my email and the editor of a paper I'd been in communication with about writing a column or blog said my writing was good but since I'm not local he doesn't know if it will work out. Hey, at least there was a compliment thrown in.

After checking my email and eating lunch I was determined to find a place to hold my workshop. I have been struggling with which town to hold it in (the one with all the hippies or the one with all the rich, retired folk?) and also finding a reasonably priced place in whichever location I choose. I thought I found a place, but upon driving to it realized that my clientele might be scared off by the sketchy individuals around the place.

Sigh. Now I'm home drinking tea, without a place for the workshop I want to hold in just over three weeks....

Topic Three: Money Well Spent

I was really bummed out driving home from the failed location mission, but then I realized that I pay someone a lot of money to coach me on these things, so I went home and emailed my life coach, looking for guidance and suggestions. That made me feel so much better!

I am proud of me - I'm pursuing something new and scary and I didn't fall into a black abyss of funk when it didn't work out right away. My life coach is certainly money well spent and I hope I can be that helpful to someone in the very near future....

Topic Four: Soup

My bosses (Nola and Coconut) are oddly out of sight at this point, so I'm going to take the rest of the day off. No more blogging, writing, or pressure to make art or be brilliant. I'm going to go make some soup and read. And that's it.

Oops, I spoke to soon. Coconut has requested I pet her immediately. Soup will have to wait...

New Year New You!

The first day of 2009...Nola woke me up early because she wanted to snuggle (actually a nice way to start the new year). After I got out of bed I realized it was too darn cold to go outside and run (but the rec center is offering 14 free days at the gym, so I did that instead). I also started a new blog today. One of my resolutions was to write in a gratitude journal every single day, so I am hoping that if I am also blogging about it every single day I'll keep it up! Also, I hope others will read it and be inspired and join me.

This is my first entry:

But this is the only time I'm going to post it here, you'll have to check out the other blog to see what I'm thankful for!

This time of year the TV and radio and Internet are absolutely chock-full of advertisements about being a better you, a new you, a thinner you, a younger-looking you, etc. I love the idea that everyone around the world is collectively resolving to improve themselves...but oh, how quickly it fades. I tried not to make any huge and sweeping resolutions for the year, but I certainly hope to make lots of art, do lots of writing, publish a few things, and start my life coaching business.

Also, I'd like to see my sink free from dirty dishes more frequently, so I guess I better get to work to make the resolution come true...