bacon plentiful erupts
Wilbur is some pig!
You don't have to tell me. I know your job is boring and crappy. Why not kill the time with some kick ass office supply art projects? And while you're at it, how about you try to figure out what you'd REALLY like to do with your life? For step by step instructions, read on!
5.My cats, who, as I've mentioned, read my blog and they, too, could use some spirit-lifting. They are depressed because of all the rain and their lack of outside time. I am depressed by their increased litter-box time.
And one last thing that has nothing to do with rainbows but does have to do with haiku. My mom was inspired to write a haiku after my post the other day and her's is actually really good:
Breeze blows. Leaves tremble
Thirsty earth longs for moisture
Rain comes pouring down
Yes, trampled by horses. This option might be hard to come across in your everyday office situation, but an idea nonetheless. I think they actually look like one horse and one large bent-over kangaroo.
Sat on by someone. Definitely a possibility, especially if you're on a plane. Crouch down when your seatmate gets up and then quickly slip your head under their lowering buttocks when they get back from the bathroom. On a side note, it turns out Amy thought this drawing was death by someone farting on you. Which is very childish. But funny. Too bad my drawing says "Sat on by someone", or I'd lie and say that's what the drawing is.
This seems like a pretty viable option to me: a pen through the eye? The nose? Instant escape from the meeting.
Fire. This is a campfire. Which you have built in your office to roast marshmallows over. Which begs the question: Does anyone else think marshmallows should be spelled "marshmellows" and get confused when they try to spell it correctly?
Changing the subject, at this point I'd like to write something really inspiring and heartfelt, because I've felt lots of inspiration and...heart feeling (?) lately. Today it has been four weeks since I sent out my first batch of query letters and, unless there is one when I get home tonight, I still have hope because one of the publishers hasn't sent me a no yet.
Oooh, oooh, I think something inpiring might come out of me now, it's brewing. Okay, so even if I go home tonight and have another rejection letter, meaning all three of the publishers I started with do not want my book, Office Supply Art: How to Not Die of Boredom at Your Lame 9 to 5, I'll be OK. I enjoy making art and sharing it on my blog. Even if three people in Wisconsin are the only ones who see it. Which is unlikely, because I don't know anyone in Wisconsin. I love my book, so even if I have to send it to 400 more publishers, some of whom may specialize in publishing manuals on operating farm equipment, and still no one will publish it, I'll continue on. I'm trying to find my way. And that's the point of my book. And it should be the point of this blog, too. I want to create and help people in some way and since I can't make everyone my awesome veggie lasagna plus carrot cake for dessert, this is going to have to do for now.
If I get home tonight and my cats have dinner on the table and the massage table set up, I'll know I'm reaching someone.
Thanks for getting through this painful episode, if you know what's good for you you'll send me some sort of kitty sedative so I can get a decent night's sleep tonight and maybe restore my funny bone in the process.
I call it "Winningest Styrofoam Meets Losingest Cardboard Pieces". A new printer was recently installed in my office, but I found the packing materials much more interesting than the new office equipment. Probably because I haven't figured out how to turn the printer (scanner/copier/frozen margarita maker) on yet...candles and a backrub, maybe?
Back to my piece. It's modern office supply art, right? I just looked up what modern art is and apparently I'm out of the historical time frame for it to be real modern art, but I think this part of the definition applies: "Nearly every phase of modern art was initially greeted by the public with ridicule, but as the shock wore off, the various movements settled into history, influencing and inspiring new generations of artists." I think that is pretty much my life story, right there. Especially the influencing and inspiring new generations of artists thing.
See, I'm cocky again, which means the universe will be knocking me down very shortly. For now I'm the winningest though.
This is a new media for me. I call it...hmm, think of something funny, quick..."Art of the Damned." That's horrible and completely off base, let me try again: "Nature's Touch". That sounds like some sort of feminine product, but let's roll with it anyways. I made this down by the lake out of pebbles and rocks and leaves. I guess it won't stand the test of time, which begs the question: "If an art piece falls into the lake and nobody is there to see it, does it still get wet?" I'm losing my touch here, it must be home sick with my metaphors, so I'm going to move on to not my art, but my sweetheart's art:
In the immortal words of Beavis and Butthead: "FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!" I cannot believe I just used a Beavis and Butthead reference. In case you haven't figured it out, this was our campfire and as Anthony pointed out a few (dozen? thousand?) times, it was pretty awesome.
All in all a lovely trip that I thoroughly enjoyed. The "cheese" sauce told me to tell you it enjoyed it, too. Eww.
Tomorrow I hope to post some real pics and art from the trip, but for now you're just going to have to go read my article and pine for me.
When given grumpiness, make grumpy-ade, isn't that what they say? This is my grumpy-ade:Why is this bunny grumpy? No one knows for sure, but here are some possibilities:
I asked Amy, coworker and bunny-analyzer, her thoughts. Her suggestions were:
*Let's see you try to draw a bunny from memory, while under phone-system-related-duress, missy.