Breaking News

A shocking crisis is unfolding. Our normally quiet and peaceful community is currently undergoing an attack of epic proportions. Members of the population have reported sightings of a giant turkey made of what appear to be paper clips and Post-it notes on the loose in our mountains. Here is a shot of the beast, captured by local biscuit n barbecue salesman, Minty McAffey:


It is thought that the creation came to life when an office supply artist extraordinaire, known only as "Jenny Silly Pants" was so bored at work she created this turkey and then conjured up an ancient spell to bring her creation to life. We have information that the spell backfired and the turkey not only came to life, but grew to 1000 times its original size and gained the ability to fly or, as some reports say, levitate.

It apparently also grew vindictive. This monster appears to be looking to harm any and all individuals involved in the corporate world. If you are wearing high heels or a business suit, remove the items immediately! It will not attack people walking around in their underwear. If you are a member of middle to upper management, for goodness sake, tell your children you love them. The turkey was last spotted 3 miles southwest of the interstate. We will keep you updated as this matter unfolds. Please head for cover or at least take off your pants.