Matches Are For Adults

Hi there. I know, it's been a few days since I've posted an office supply art project, but I've got a good excuse: I had no good ideas. Also I'm lazy.

But I'm back with a good one!

Catastrophic Cup Wars

Step One:

Go to the coffee break/lunch room at your work establishment. Find some cups. Also, some plastic utensils might come in handy.

Step Two:

Get out your writing implement and start making some crazy and feisty faces for your cups.

Step three:

Start acting out a heated argument between the cups. Right here they're fighting about whose turn it is to check their email.

Step four:

Since they knew it was going to get ugly, the cups moved away from the valuable electronic equipment and took it to some other place with a wooden floor. Maybe they're in a barn or honkytonk or something. Oh, and they also have weapons now. If you know me, you'll know I'm a pacifist, but if you try to get in the way of my computer time or cookie jar, I might whip out my tools of destruction. In this case we've got a spoon shovel thing and it turns out Larry, the cup on the left, can breathe fire! That comes in handy!


I can hear my mother's disapproving sigh. Kids: matches are dangerous! And I would never recommend using them if you're an adult and not too bright. Or under the influence. And make sure you have some water, baking powder, a fire extinguisher, and some sexy shirtless firefighter within grabbing distance in case the match catches something on fire. The firefighter comes in handy even if you're not playing with matches. But I digress.


Step five:

Declare a winner!

My tip for living your life the best way possible for today is:

Go read my other blog! I only had enough good advice for one day, and it's over here!

I'm Going To Join A Band

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on the couch, covered in furry beasts, unable to move anything save my right arm. First I was reading, because one arm is all that's necessary, but then I decided I wanted to be creative. I twisted around (upsetting one of the beasts) and used my single good limb to grab the cool travel sketch book my mom gave me for Christmas.

This is the masterpiece I created:


Doesn't it make you want to quit your job and join a band? Or at least start screen-printing T-shirts in your basement?

I also did some writing yesterday and lots of reality TV watching. Lame, but true. I was home alone for the evening and all my shows were repeats, frustrating! So, sadly, I got sucked into watching part of The Bachelor while I read. Not the kind of quality programing that enriches the soul, that's for sure.

Today should be a less brain-deadening day. I plan on heading to the gym in a few, then I have life coaching with Barbara at 11, and if all goes well I hope to take off to Asheville with my mom after lunch to FINALLY reserve a space to hold my workshop. It's been super frustrating for me to get this organized - I hate making phone calls and this is my first time in this process, so of course it's a new challenge. I am proud to say I think I've made a decision and I'm hoping my life coaching session will clarify that for me.

I also plan on going to a guided meditation class tonight. I planned on going to one in December, too, but bailed, and I want to get off my duff and go this time. It's something about a Chakra meditation? I already told the boy we're having an early dinner, so I should be good to go.

Wish me a productive day...

Busy Oven!

Another busy day for the Unemployed One! My days absolutely fly by now! Since it's the holiday season I get to add baking into the mix of writing, reading, cat-harassing, walking, and making art.

A few weeks ago an email appeared in my inbox from my mom and step dad's email address, titled "Fw:Recipe". Joe was kind and thoughtful enough to email his sister to ask her for a recipe he enjoyed as a...boy or man or something and wanted to taste once again. As soon as the recipe was received, it was immediately sent to me, since I'm the only one in the family who can prepare a food item if it doesn't involve the microwave. Okay, okay, I'm not trying to be cruel here, both my mom and step dad are highly capable of using the toaster, too.

I'm not kidding when I say I'm very happy that Joe assumed I would be willing to make these cookies for him, and also assumed I'd be capable of taking on the task. He loves food and I love making it for him, so it's a good partnership. Not to mention the $20 he kicked in so I could buy the laundry list of ingredients needed, which included Maraschino cherries and raisins.

It was an arduous process, mostly because I didn't have a picture to look at. I prefer looking up recipes online to getting them written down or mailed to me because if I can see what it's supposed to turn out like I know where to start.

At any rate, here's step 132, after the dough is made, chilled, rolled, flattened, sweared at, thrown on the floor, picked up, has the cat hair picked out of it...um, wait, you didn't hear that from me. After you've got your square of dough you press all of the ingredients into it, like so:

Then is the really hard part - rolling it into thirds without losing all of the stuffing and while there are two cats threading themselves between your legs. It should (I hope!) look like this:

Then I baked them and after they were cooled, sliced them into bars:

They're supposed to have powdered sugar on them, but I was out, hopefully they're still good without it!

After that project I got back to my art project. My concept was a polymer clay background with a yarn tree with polymer clay leaves on it in the foreground. Here is a closeup of the leaves I made:

And this is the background:

Both of those items were baked in my very busy oven to harden them. After that I assembled the project:

And put it in the shadow box I bought the other day:


I'm not so sure I'm finished with it yet. When I am I'll glue the glass on, but I'm not ready to make it permanent yet.

Phew! Time to go get ready to bring the cookies over to the 'rents house...and get a free dinner. I love free dinners. (In case anyone feels like sending me one.)