The Story of 11/11

Today is November 11th, 11/11. It has significance for me for a number of reasons and we have quite a history together. No, November 11th never got me pregnant and then left me for my best friend, and November 11th certainly didn't try to peer pressure me to eat paste back in the second grade.

In the spring of 2001 I was preparing to graduate from college. I was mostly preparing by skipping my classes, but I also spent a significant amount of time watching TV. Okay, okay, honestly, I applied for lots and lots and lots of jobs. I really wanted to have a full time job lined up by the time I finished school. Through my senior year I worked for a newspaper designing ads, but they didn't have room for me to go full time, nor would I have wanted to. For some strange reason more and more frequently when I looked at the time it would have an 11 in it. 1:11, 4:11, and often times, 11:11. I had no clue what this was supposed to mean.

Time passed, I graduated, I did not have any full time job offers, September 11th happened, job prospects dried up even further. I decided the very best career move I could make was to move to Killington, VT, population 1100, to become a waitress at a ski lodge and live in staff housing with 15 other people and two toilets. The day after my 22nd birthday I moved there and lo and behold, when I signed my work agreement, my official date of hire had been November 11th. Huh.

Many, many things transpired from that point including me moving to Montana, living in a tent for six weeks (part of which while a serial killer was loose in the area), moving to Virginia Beach, anincrediblybriefmarriagethatIdon'treallywanttotalkabout, and more. For a while I thought that was the end of me and November 11th. But I noticed, on and off, whenever change was about to occur in my life, I'd look down at my watch and there it was, 11:11.

Then on November 11th, 2006, I met the man who is now my boyfriend for the first time. He came down from New York to visit a mutual friend and we hit it off instantly. After I gathered the courage to take my head out from underneath the dining room table, that is. So today is our two year anniversary and also is the focus of my art project for the day:

The book is one of the ones I'm reading for the upcoming life coaching course, but the scissors and the collage pictures are for Anthony's anniversary card. What? you don't think a German Shepherd with its tongue hanging out is romantic? Obviously you don't know me very well.

But back to 11:11 again. I have entered another period of my life where I see it on my watch at least a few days a week. When I first started noticing it in 2001 I was worried, I thought maybe I was going to die that day or something. But now I just notice it and am happy to see it, it just means change is coming in my life, and it always means adventure. I can't wait to see what's going to happen next.

Colloquial Paradoxical Levity

A Monday that doesn't involve being at work is a Monday for me. I think I will adopt this Monday.

Did I sleep in and revel in the fact that I had nowhere I had to be this morning? I wish. I woke up at 5:45 with a scratchy throat and a phlegm (only took me six tries to spell that properly) problem that threatened to choke me in my sleep if I didn't get up and drink some tea. So that is what I did. Eventually I moved on to strength training, oatmeal, and a walk. Not all at the same time, mind you. I also had to drop my truck off at the mechanic, again. Jeez, it's only 20 years old with 95,000 miles on it, what gives? The brakes are giving me problems again, and this time the mechanic mentioned the words "Master Cylinder". He might as well have said "Colloquial Paradoxical Levity" as an explanation to me since both of those phrases mean nothing to my brain. I take that back, the word "Master" makes me think this could be expensive.

Hey, my watch alarm just went off, indicating that I can stop meditating now. Oh, blogging isn't part of standard meditation practice? Who knew? I've been off the meditation ritual for about the past week. I did do it Saturday morning, but I skipped it yesterday. I thought I'd give it a whirl again today. Obviously I lost interest in it before my time was up. Maybe after I am done with my job I'll have better luck? Or maybe after my lobotomy?

I had a really nice Saturday. I made some more art:


I am not super-duper happy with this piece, although I did enjoy making it. Now it's sitting on my mantle with all of my other art projects. Ideally I'd like to spend some time, energy, and possibly dollars in creating some art that I could sell locally. There is a huge art community here and our main industry is tourism, so selling some pieces on the side is certainly viable.

On Sunday I created some chunky lentil soup, which I got from the website Eat, Live Run. Mine looks absolutely nothing like the blog author's, but it's still very yummy. I also made two loaves of bread. One ended up naked on the counter. When I tried to pop it out of the bread machine the entire crust, I kid you not, stayed in the bread pan and only the warm, chewy insides fell out. I scraped the crust out and tried to put Humpty Dumpty back together again, but it will never live the life its parents envisioned for it: Sandwich Bread. However, it is still delicious in giant chunks. I then made a second loaf which was much more successful. I'm bringing my mom some soup and the Successful Bread for lunch today, and I'm going to have some with her.

This should be an easy week at work, tomorrow is the actual holiday that I've taken today off for so no one will be at work. You know what that means, right? Highballs and Cheez Whiz.

Wednesday is round two of interviews for my replacement. Or as I like to call them, "people who I should warn, but if I did I could never leave, so forget it".

OOhh, and tonight I get to have Indian food, so this Monday just got even better. Time to go do something productive. Or not, who cares, it's my day off!

Please Stay Awake

When I was a small child my mother used to say, "If you don't have anything incredibly interesting to write on your blog about art made out of office supplies, than don't write anything at all."

I'm going to ignore her advice today. I have no office supply art or pictures or anything, and I was talking to my lunch coach...I mean, my life coach, over lunch, so this is going to be quick.

• I have a three-day weekend! Yay me!
• Life coaching today was great, I am very happy!
• I would go into more detail but you would probably fall asleep, hitting your head on the keyboard in the process, and end up with a permanent indent shaped like the space bar in your forehead.
• It's been 16 weeks since I sent my submission package to Ten Speed Press. What is going on???
• I only have 17 more days of work after today.
• Today's fateful fun-sized Halloween candy is going to be a Mr. Goodbar. Mmmm....
• Have a great weekend!

Mysteries and Reasons To Smile

Today my stepfather, Joe, wanted to send a picture to me. He had taken a photo of a beautiful tree using his cell phone. I emailed him directions on how to send it to me, since he'd never done it before. This is the picture I received:

What exactly do you think is going on in the foreground?

• Lochness Monster or other large serpent-like creature is bobbing through?
• Giant demon bunny (those are its ears, see?) popped up and got in the way just before he snapped the photo?
• Elephant stuck its trunk in front of the phone?
• Black hole is beginning to form in the parking lot?

I, personally, think it's the demon bunny. Thanks for the photo, Joe, the tree is beautiful and I am thankful you weren't harmed.

On to office supply art! I have mentioned before that sometimes I leave projects for Amy to do while she covers my one-hour lunch break. Sitting at my post can get a wee bit boring sometimes (allthetimeallthetimeallthetimeohmygoshgetmeoutofhere). Past assignments have been quizzes, drawing assignments, and lately, a few word searches. These are the two I made for her today:

I got the idea to make the word searches in various shapes after a lame-o luncheon I went to a few weeks ago. The one they provided was shaped like a horse, but I'm not quite that talented/smart/motivated, so I make easier shapes. The first thing I made was a cross shape. I will not elaborate here as to what the words involved were because I do not want to offend any one's delicate sensibilities. The second one I made was shaped like a tear drop and contained reasons Amy should miss me (awesome, goodfriend, niceass, etc). I made one today with reasons to smile, the top one, but realized they mostly applied to me, so I went ahead and made a second one for Amy with reasons to make her smile, the bottom one. Notice that her crossword puzzle smile is missing a front tooth, like she is. (If I don't ever blog again it's because she has killed me after reading this post.)

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The reason I'm showing you these word searches is to prove that you can have fun at work. Especially if you have a spreadsheet-making program, absolutely no supervision, and very little work ethic. It takes a professional like me to come up with something this advanced, but I have faith you could make something awesome, too, if you had enough to drink.

Interviews for my "replacement" started today. My boss is interviewing five foolish people today and six tomorrow. I have 18 days left. How do I know me leaving this job is fate? Because one of my other favorite coworkers, Daniela, who works the evening shift of my job, gave me some leftover Halloween candy and it's exactly the right amount for me to have one piece each afternoon until my last day. What are the chances of that? Yes, thank you for pointing out that I can make something out of less than nothing.

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Today was the first day of my at-least-month-long-news hiatus. That meant no Today show during my morning oatmeal and no NPR in the car to and from work. And no checking to see if North Carolina ever got called either way in the presidential election. Oh well, I can find other things to do while I drive, like curl my eyelashes.

From One Countdown to Another

Yay! I am very happy that Obama, along with Hope and Change, have been selected as our next president. Did I help make that possible? I sure tried! I live in the only state, North Carolina, that is still too close to call. I guess Obama didn't need my vote to win, but I was pulling for him anyways. A brief history of my presidential voting experiences so far:

• November 2000, I was 20 and living in Connecticut and voting for the first time. When I went to bed on election night my chosen candidate, Al "I thought I'd hide how great and passionate I am until much later, way after I lose the election, and let people think I am made of cardboard for now" Gore was securely in the lead. He'd won Florida, all was well. When I woke up it was a different story, which I won't rehash here. My state went blue but the country didn't.
• November 2004, I lived in Vermont. I wasn't super crazy about John Kerry, but he wasn't W and and that was good enough for me. (A rabid pigeon running on the Fowlatarian ticket would have been good enough for me at that point.) Again, my state went blue but the country, using some of its best judgement ever, went red. Again.
• November 2008, I live in North Carolina now and as I said, I finally voted for the winner!Even though I don't know which way my state went! (My guess is: To find some deer to hunt or possibly someplace where it could get biscuits n' gravy.) I am very hopeful that Obama will do the job that I expect of him that he'll get a whole eight years to make a difference...and maybe during one of his terms I'll have my own little liberal that I can tell about how he/she was born during this historic time. But I'm not holding my breath!

I've been counting down to the election, but now that it's over I have a new countdown to concentrate on:

This is my "Countdown To Unemployment" calendar. Snappy title, huh? I just made that up. As you can see, I've already marked today off, even though I still have a few more hours left here today. I am getting down into the teens, I only have 19 more days to go! Interesting that I colored in the weekends as deep and dark black holes, devoid of all meaning, when I really should have colored them in with sunshine and lollipops and rainbows and pancakes. And unicorns.

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Time to go read some more about Hope and Change because starting tomorrow I'm taking a news hiatus.

Eagles and Freedom and Elections and Office Supplies

Remember when I mentioned an eagle made of Post-It Notes yesterday? I decided in honor of election day and our freedom and all that stuff I'd go ahead and make one. I'm pretty happy with the way it came out:

It's made entirely from Post-It Notes and Highlighters and Sharpies and other Name Brand Products. I am not quite certain what its prey is. Some options:

• The Styrofoam-and-folder-tab field mouse I mentioned yesterday
• The Daschpoopard from last week (but would you want to eat a toilet paper roll?)
• Sarah Palin. I'm really, really hoping it's Palin the eagle is after. That means when her ticket loses today she will disappear from the face of the planet. She will never become the Face of the Republican party and we'll never have to hear her say "Joe Six Pack", "Maverick", "Hockey Mom", or "You Betcha" ever again.
• Although I do like the impressions that Tina Fey does of Palin on SNL. How about a sketch where she gets picked up by a giant eagle made of offices supplies? I'll pitch it to Tina.

In other news: My camera is seriously on the fritz. (On the fritz? What is the fritz, anyways? Is it a street? An animal? A monthly hormonal cycle?) See the pictures below, which are supposed to show you how beautiful plain and simple preserved leaves are:

The first set of leaves looks diseased and second set looks like it was scanned by a computer with some sort of emotional issue. Try to look past those problems and see the beauty of nature. Try harder!
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My mom and I took a trip to town and parked the car and picked leaves last Saturday. Yes, we actually spent part of a day picking leaves. For fun. I am currently in the process of using silica gel to dry the leaves out. Silica gel is that stuff that comes in the little white package when you buy a new purse that says "DO NOT EAT!" Don't worry, I've only eaten a little of it. Tastes like Coconut. (My cat, not the hard-shelled fruit.)
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After the leaves stay in the gel, which is really a dry powder, for a couple days I put some incredibly poisonous-smelling stuff on them and it brings out their original color. I'm not quite sure what Mom and I will do with the leaves once I'm done preserving all of them, but they look gorgeous just sitting on a paper towel, so I doubt we could make anything less than beautiful out of them.
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Oh, also I wanted to say that yesterday my boss asked me to look through resumes for people to fill my position. They got hundreds of applicants. It is very, very weird looking through them, trying to figure out if they'd be good at this job and if I even care.
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Go Vote if you live in the United States and are going to vote the way I want you to!

I Get So Emotional Baby

Wouldn't an impressive and inspiring blog about how finding creativity and your true self can lift you to the greatest heights of ecstasy even in times of war and poverty be wonderful right now? Or maybe a post showing the office supply art I made today, maybe a giant eagle made of Post-It Notes, swooping down to grasp its prey, a field mouse made out of file tabs and Styrofoam coffee cups? Or even some pictures of my weekend and how I worked towards being the best Jen I can be?

I'm falling a little short of those brilliant ideas today. Maybe it's a case of the Mondays, maybe it's that my time at work seems to be dragging out longer than this presidential race, maybe it's because I hurt my face trying to pluck my out-of-control eyebrows this morning, or maybe it's because I'm turning 29 in less than three weeks. No, I'm happy about that last one, birthdays mean presents, or at the very least chocolate and well wishes.

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Over the weekend I looked at some of the materials from the life coach training I'll be starting in January. I have to read three books and one article, answer a questionnaire, and submit a head shot (Do you think the picture of me with the hay in my hair would work for that?) by December 1st - not much time! Luckily I've already read one of the books so a quick refresher-read should be fine, my mom owns the second book so I can grab that copy sometime this or next week and read it, the article is short, and oddly (or not so oddly, sometimes the Universe seems to know what it's doing) I was already in the middle of reading the last book on the list before I ever knew I was going to need to read it for class.

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That book is "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. The book is amazing - but it's somewhat draining to look at and analyze all of your thoughts and fears and angers. From the fear of clowns attacking you in the middle of the night to thoughts of death to anger about the toilet seat being up, you kinda feel like a horse's ass when you realize some of the things you've worried about have made your life not has happy as it could be. But the point isn't to make you feel stupid; it's to show you your thoughts trap you. And I do it all in the name of self-improvement. Maybe I'll change my goal to getting rock-hard abs. It probably wouldn't involve so much emotion. Eh, maybe not.

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The questionnaire I have to turn in is straightforward and involves one of my favorite things: Talking about me. Question: "Bullet-point your life story below. Start from your birth and end now. Please only use one page." I started this and realized I don't have much to say between the ages of six and 21. Is that weird? Another question: "What you are ridiculously good at?" You know I had to put making spinach lasagna, cat-petting, and napping in there. But then I listed some serious things - but being silly is something I really am ridiculously good at, and I feel open and honest enough to include that part of me in the answers.

So this blog isn't completely devoid of visual stimulation, check this out:

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That's me. Thinking it's a good idea to go out on a Saturday night to a club named "The Garage" and stay up waaayyyyyy past my bedtime. I went with Amy and Anthony, and our friend Dan met us there. Luckily Dan and Anthony did whatever it is guys do, so I was able to be a complete and total fool with Amy. This included me impersonating a dance I once saw a woman doing at a Lilith Fair concert when I was in college. At the time my friends and I called the dance "The Nordic Trac" because of the way the woman swung her arms and legs. After demonstrating to Amy she wanted me to actually go out onto the dance floor and do said move in front of multiple people, but I wasn't brave enough.

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I WAS brave enough, however, to try smoking part of a cigar. Or stupid enough, possibly. Don't ask me why sweet and innocent Amy had a cigar, but she did. It was disgusting (I'm not just saying that because my mom reads this blog, it was absolutely completely gross) and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, anywhere, ever. But if you want to lick the paper, I totally vote for that, the outside of this cigar tasted like a vanilla cookie. But in hindsight, I would have preferred the cookie.

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I hope to get some more creative juices flowing this week, but I'm in a state where I have to concentrate on reading, growing, answering questionnaires about myself and preparing for my birthday (which involves lots of napping). Only 21 more days of work after this and I truly hope to make the best of it.

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PS - I voted this weekend - I hope my man wins!