The outline of the book and the first chapter flew out of me and they reconfirmed that I am one funny chick! Of course so far only my mom has confirmed that, but hey, she wouldn't lie to me, would she? Just in case she would, I've included a snippet here, and of course this is just the first draft. It's about the things my new, corporate job required me to do and my reaction to having to do them.
I had to start doing things like writing directives, which basically involved using big words to get across a very simple point, spreadsheets to showcase my research, lots of charts and graphs to show the work of my “team” over the past month, meetings set up three weeks in advance that lasted hours, after-hours chamber of commerce things…it was all a bit much.
So that’s when I started freaking out. But my freak outs never got me anywhere. Examples:
Freak out Voice: “Oh my Gosh. This is horrible. I don’t belong here. I belong in the woods with flowers in my hair, dancing and singing and tending to organic fruit trees”
Voice of Reason: “You may not like it here, but you have a mortgage and really don’t have that much luck keeping growing things alive. You even kill cactus plants. Growing organic fruit trees probably isn’t the way to go.”
Freak out Voice: I would rather work part time close to home and have time for pottery and focus on my soul.
Voice of Reason: Can I remind you of that mortgage payment thing? Plus you don’t even know how to make pottery. You made a pinch pot in the second grade for your mom. She uses it as a paper clip holder. And frankly, I’m not all that impressed with your skills.”
Freak out Voice: “My true passion is deep within my soul. I must create. I must have purpose. I’m going to quit my job and go back to school to be a pastry chef.”
Voice of Reason: “Um, yeah. Again, you have a mortgage to pay. And you don’t really like school. And you would probably consume all of the pastries before you had a chance to show your professor your work. And then you would fail and possibly end up on the street, with your two cats on leashes, shuffling from dumpster to dumpster, wondering what happened to your life.”
So, that's just part of it and there is lots more crazy, funny stuff! I hope to finish chapter two, which includes some examples of my office supply art, by the end of this week. Then I have to finish the whole book. Then I have to get it published. But this is what I was meant to do, so I know it will work out for me.