I'll Put My Paperclips in a Box For You

Welcome!

Today's Office Supply Art Project is:

Bad Ass Business Card Box

Step one:

Get a pile of your business cards. Or your boss's business cards. If you do not personally have business cards, go to an establishment, say a sub shop, that has one of those containers on their counter that people put their business cards in hopes of winning a free lunch, and steal some of those. You'll need 7 total.

You may be wondering if you can always count on me to provide amazing photographic tutorials such as the one above. I will not disappoint you.


Step two:

See? More quality photography from Jen. Give me a break, I'm a life coach, not a photographer. So, what's going on in this step? I made this box more than 12 minutes ago, so it's already sort of fuzzy in my mind. Oh, okay, hold one card up to the other, but perpendicular, so you can cut two of the business cards to the right height for the ends of your box.

Step three:

Actually, this isn't a step, I just wanted you to see that now the other business card has been cut and is the same height as the other business card, but it just looks like a miniature light saber. It reminds me of the time, a couple weeks ago, when I had my pupils dilated and everything looked much brighter than it should have. My white cat looked like she had been sent down from heaven to give me a message from God. That message was "more kitty treats and less back talk, please."

Step four:

Layout the business cards in the above formation.

Step five:

Tape the cards together. I know you can't see the tape, but it's there. Try not to get too much cat hair in it like I did. It leads to an unprofessional final product.



Step six:

What the heck is that??? Oh, yeah, I'm folding the sides of the box up and taping them. You can do it, too.

Step seven:

Again, this isn't a step. This is just how the box might look when you're done taping up the sides. Yours might not look quite this professional, but with time you'll develop my level of skills.

Step eight:

Not a step. Again. This is another picture of my water tight box. Stop smirking.

Step nine:

Are we done yet? No, the box needs a lid in case you want to use it to contain important documents. Get one more business card.

Step ten:

Tape it on. Fill it with nuclear waste so it glows like mine.

Step eleven:

Put some stuff in the box, just so you feel truly accomplished.

You may have noticed from the photos an area rug under my work station. That is because I assembled my box on the floor of my home. I no longer work in an office, because working in them literally caused my soul to start seeping out of me, and it was terribly messy to keep cleaning up. So I quit. Actually, I quit to become a writer and life coach, and I feel well equipped to hook you up with some ideas on how you, too, can find a way to leave that soul-seeping job. So I present to you....

My daily "Live your life the way YOU want to!" tip:

What, exactly, do you want to look back on?

This is an essay question. I want you to close your eyes (unless you're reading this on your Blackberry, which is being held in one hand while you steer your car with the other) and picture yourself when you're quite old. Like 30. Okay, okay, be serious, Jen! Picture yourself around 80, or even older if you're ambitious and most of your meals don't revolve around bacon.

So, you're 80 years old, sitting on your front porch/sail boat/dragon and telling someone about your life. Think back to your current age and your current job and/or life situation. What do you want to say about the decisions you made at this point?

For instance, when I was at my previous job I was completely miserable, but kept putting off quitting because I was afraid. Afraid I'd run out of money, afraid my boss would be mad, afraid I'd let down my family. But when I let my mind sprint into the future and look back, I realized that if I kept staying in a place that tainted my whole life, and refused to pursue my dreams because I was afraid, staying at the job would not be the story I wanted to tell.

What story do you want to tell? Allow your imagination to travel, but keep your "rational" thoughts out of it. This is about your LIFE. The one and only life you're going to get in this body, with the talents you've been blessed with. Yes, I consider your amazing ability to make armpit fart sounds a gift. I'm not telling you to make a huge change today, I'm telling you to think, seriously, about what you really want to have experienced in your life.

Please try this if you're unhappy with your life! I don't even care if you make the Bad Ass Business Card Box!

I'm Back! And Better Than Ever! Possibly!

Hi! I have taken a much-needed hiatus from the old Office Supply Art Blog, but only because I needed to get some fresh ideas and learn something valuable to share with my readers besides how to make animals out of toilet paper rolls and Post-It Notes. But believe me, there will still be plenty of that.

I've decided that I'm going to combine my love of passing the time at work making things out of office supplies with real tips for getting out of that boring job that drains the life out of you to the point where you'd actually rather make a necklace out of paper clips and wear it on a first date with a super model than finish your expense report and spend time with your boss going over why you, for the second month in a row, have charged over $60 a week for Krispy Kremes.

So! The new format will include a daily office supply art project for your time-killing pleasure and a valuable idea or quiz or inspiring story to help you figure out what you, Bob H. Vagabond, wants to do with your life. If you are just dying to get even more from me, check out my website www.JenTrinque.com, because you can also pay me to tell you this stuff if you'd like.

Here we go...

Scolding Me WIll Do Know Good

I know. I am severely lacking in the "blogging every single day with some super awesome office supply art" category. You may have noticed, I was way more better-er at this when I was in a miserable, soul-sucking job when I had nothing better to do than make eagles out of Post-It notes and write about it "on my own time".

But now I'm, how do I say it, happy. And not bored. And feel free. And joyful. I have no desire to spend my days making office supply art anymore, I'm (sort of) sad to say. I LOVE what I'm doing. I work four days a week from home and am slowly building my life as a coach and am just in love with life now.

I am not planning on giving up blogging permanently, though, but I'll be blogging as a life coach at a new site - and if you're not careful you might learn something. My goal with the new blog is similar to my goal with this blog - to entertain you and show you life can be fun. Of course, with the new blog I'm just trying to get you hooked on me so you'll pay me for more information, but that's okay, right?

I'm also not giving up my dream of being published, or of having Office Supply Art published, I just have other things on the front burner right now. It's been fun. I may still pop in here over the next few weeks or months until my new website and blog are up, but don't hold your breath on seeing a blog post every day. Unless you have nothing else to do, of course.

Vision Boards Supply Art

Is it cool if from now on I just write some phrase then add "Supply Art" onto it and call it good as far as a title goes? Like, "Pumpkin Muffin Supply Art", "Sandy Banana Supply Art", "Two Turtle Doves Supply Art", "Wow, That Mailbox Just Jumped Out in Front of Me Supply Art"? Good, I'm glad we see eye to eye on this.

So, by today's title you can tell that I was busy soldering together some new furniture for the life insurance company that I garden for.

Or maybe I spent the morning making a Vision Board, I can't remember. Thank goodness I took pictures!


Ah, yes, this is Nola, helping me. Both of the cats are awesome at helping me, whether I need help showering, eating dinner, washing dishes, sleeping, napping, typing, editing, whatever, they are right there for me. Coconut is keeping my lap warm right this second, just so I could be here to blog for you.


After Nola helped me put my vision board together, she gave it her butt-stamp of approval.

What is a vision board, you ask? It's pretty much a collage of stuff. But in this case it's not just any old stuff, it's what you want your life to look like. It's what you want to draw into your consciousness and make reality. Here's mine:


I bet you're wondering why there aren't any business suits, high heels, or Power Point presentations on there. HA! Not in my new life! Here's a closeup:


Which is still probably really hard to read, but I'll clue you in. That middle phrase is an affirmation I read from the book The Law of Attraction by Jerry and Esther Hicks. It's not a book about dating, no, it's about attracting what you want in your life. The affirmation goes, "I, Jen, see and draw to me, through Divine Love, those who seek enlightenment through my process. The sharing will elevate both of us, now." For those of you who think that is too out there, sorry, but I believe it! You also see someone petting a kitty, because that's one of the few things I am already spectacular at, there's a beautiful home, a view of the mountains, a gorgeous kitchen, and some flowers, which someone else will be keeping alive for me. Possibly they'll come in the middle of the night to tend to said flowers so I think it's all me.

Okay, here's more, there's some healthy food on there, a healthy chick who is doing some stretching, some words about inner peace, a landscaped space, probably designed and executed by the same person who breaks into my house each night to water my flowers, because Lord knows it's not going to be me doing it, and some happy and in love people.

Look, more! There's the top half of the yummy food, some money, which is being hung out to dry, so I hope that doesn't mean my future is going to involve money laundering, because I generally prefer to keep my crimes down to misdemeanors.

More words, "Your Best Life", "Get Inspired", and "Reach your peak!". Another picture of a nice house. I actually have three pictures of houses on here, I'll take any one of them or all three of them, however it works out. There is a dog on my vision board. I don't know why I put it there other than he was so darn cute I wanted him on there. I do want a dog someday assuming he or she can use the toilet, bathe him or herself, and entertain any future children I have with card tricks.

There are some other things on the board, a chick doing yoga with a cat, a tree with a poem, some pictures of laptops because I want one, another tree picture, some more pictures of strong, beautiful women (my intention is to be one of those women, not, you know, have one move in with me or anything).

My work here is done supply art.

Ocean Supply Art

You know why I like making art out of stuff that comes from the earth? Because it takes little to no talent on my end. Let me show you what I mean.

Isn't this beautiful? These are all shells that were gathered on the beach in Vero Beach, Florida. They have been laid down on a piece of wood, for now, until a plan for them is developed. I was thinking that half of them should move to Mexico and grow corn and the other half should stay here and get green jobs created by the economic stimulus package. And they should all send their money back to me.

I'm missing the point here, where was I? Okay, so the point is that these beautiful shells, made by nature, or sea urchins or whatever, are perfect and gorgeous just the way they are! I could hot glue them to a roll of toilet paper and sell it at the local art gallery! You cannot ruin something this beautiful!

Here are some closeups. As always I'm showing off my finely tuned digital photography skills:


No, it's not my camera, the shells are fuzzy.

When I finally make something out of these I'll let you know. For now it's on to my real job, which involves me, my pajamas, a mug of hot tea, the computer, and fantasizing about my future. Seriously! This is my job now! I love it!

Back to the grind...

You Know What's Fun? The Weather.

The weather for Big Pine Key, Florida, for the next week is pretty much the same every single day: High of about 76, low of about 68, partly cloudy. You know what partly cloudy means: sunny days with perfect, puffy, delicious white clouds floating around the clear, bright blue sky.

Why do I care about the weather on an island that is 1000 miles away? Because I like to hold a grudge, that's why.

When I was in the keys last week for vacation, the weather went more like this: Highs of 65. Lows of 55. If I was lucky. Unless you also consider it lucky to get to take part in Florida's historic record-setting low temperature streak? Yes? That's your cup of tea? Great, then the morning I woke up and the wind chill was 39 should be right up your alley! Did I mention the gale force winds (I don't know what the really means, but the winds knocked over my screened in tent thing, made my sandal-clad feet very freaking chilly, and also made our tent flap about in such a way that I thought it was about to take off for a trip to Jupiter, so I think that qualifies for "gale force")? Oh, and the terrible and severe thunderstorm that forced us to spend not only three hours in our van, but also to rescue everything out of our slightly leaky tent to spend the night in said van? Sleeping in a clammy, damp, cramped van on an air mattress that is bent and slightly elevated on one side (mine) because it doesn't really fit in the space it has been given is definitely an unforgettable experience.

But I'm not (that) bitter. We did cancel the 4 extra nights we had booked, skipped the Everglades, and shortened our vacation considerably. However, I did get some nice photos that could lead you to believe I spent the week in a tropical paradise.

Behold:Of course, these photos may also lead you to believe that the sun is perpetually setting in the Florida keys, and that it's always almost time for bed. You're right.

Actually, the vacation was a great success because I didn't do any damage to my delicate skin, because, you know, I didn't actually see the sun much. Also, do you remember how I felt the last time I came back from vacation? That did not happen this time, because I don't have to go back to the job that reminded me of Hades! In fact, on vacation I got totally psyched about all the awesome stuff I'm going to do coaching and developed a six week plan to get a firmer butt and great abs. Wait, no, I mean, for getting my website up, what kind of content I want to offer, and more.

Now it is time for me to sign off. I'll be back soon, I promise.

Camping Is Not For Sissies

What exactly is a sissy? I just looked it up and it means an effeminate man or boy or a timid or cowardly person. Camping is definitely not for a coward, especially the longish camping trip Anthony and I are about to embark on.

I like to pride myself on being one of those people who isn't into material things. I haven't bought new shoes for quite a while (other than running shoes, those need to be kept newish so you don't hurt yourself), most of my clothes bear the logo of one of my former employers and were given to me for free or at a steep discount, and my truck is old enough to drink. Seriously, it was born in 1988.

Yet somehow when we start to pull out all of the junk we need just to take a simple camping trip and be able to sleep, stay warm, prepare a meal, and light a campfire, I become overwhelmed by the amount of stuff it takes! And that's not even close to all of the stuff that we have in our house! We have milk crates filled to the brim with canned goods and paper towels, bags stuffed with beach towels and underwear, and camping gear coming out of our ears.

That's why I say camping is not for sissies. You have to find it, pack it, cram it, yell at it, drive it hundreds or thousands of miles away, unload it, keep it (kind of) clean, repack it, wondering why you can't get it to fit back in the same damn way it was before, drive it another few hundred or thousand miles, unload it, clean it, leave it in the dish rack or on the living room floor for two weeks, and then put it away. Exhausting! But worth it.

For the next week or two I'll be sleeping under the stars and showering infrequently, but if I ever get a chance to hit an Internet cafe, I'll check in.