1. Take over the management of the kitten-petting program at my place of employment. We don't have a kitten-petting program? Dammit.
- Push up contests. I would most certainly lose, even doing girl push ups, but my deep level of concentration could possibly make me forget how much my job is sucking the life out of me.
- Dress-up contests. I'll bring the feather boas.
- Thumb wrestling contests. I might have a shot at that title, which should improve my ego after losing in the push up and dress-up contests.
- Creepiest employee contests. Winner gets a free restraining order.
- Debate Club Competitions. My topic: Why wearing pants at work is wrong and its implications on our society as a whole.
Anybody else have any ideas about how to make a job less tear-and-snot-inducing?