Scolding Me WIll Do Know Good

I know. I am severely lacking in the "blogging every single day with some super awesome office supply art" category. You may have noticed, I was way more better-er at this when I was in a miserable, soul-sucking job when I had nothing better to do than make eagles out of Post-It notes and write about it "on my own time".

But now I'm, how do I say it, happy. And not bored. And feel free. And joyful. I have no desire to spend my days making office supply art anymore, I'm (sort of) sad to say. I LOVE what I'm doing. I work four days a week from home and am slowly building my life as a coach and am just in love with life now.

I am not planning on giving up blogging permanently, though, but I'll be blogging as a life coach at a new site - and if you're not careful you might learn something. My goal with the new blog is similar to my goal with this blog - to entertain you and show you life can be fun. Of course, with the new blog I'm just trying to get you hooked on me so you'll pay me for more information, but that's okay, right?

I'm also not giving up my dream of being published, or of having Office Supply Art published, I just have other things on the front burner right now. It's been fun. I may still pop in here over the next few weeks or months until my new website and blog are up, but don't hold your breath on seeing a blog post every day. Unless you have nothing else to do, of course.

Vision Boards Supply Art

Is it cool if from now on I just write some phrase then add "Supply Art" onto it and call it good as far as a title goes? Like, "Pumpkin Muffin Supply Art", "Sandy Banana Supply Art", "Two Turtle Doves Supply Art", "Wow, That Mailbox Just Jumped Out in Front of Me Supply Art"? Good, I'm glad we see eye to eye on this.

So, by today's title you can tell that I was busy soldering together some new furniture for the life insurance company that I garden for.

Or maybe I spent the morning making a Vision Board, I can't remember. Thank goodness I took pictures!


Ah, yes, this is Nola, helping me. Both of the cats are awesome at helping me, whether I need help showering, eating dinner, washing dishes, sleeping, napping, typing, editing, whatever, they are right there for me. Coconut is keeping my lap warm right this second, just so I could be here to blog for you.


After Nola helped me put my vision board together, she gave it her butt-stamp of approval.

What is a vision board, you ask? It's pretty much a collage of stuff. But in this case it's not just any old stuff, it's what you want your life to look like. It's what you want to draw into your consciousness and make reality. Here's mine:


I bet you're wondering why there aren't any business suits, high heels, or Power Point presentations on there. HA! Not in my new life! Here's a closeup:


Which is still probably really hard to read, but I'll clue you in. That middle phrase is an affirmation I read from the book The Law of Attraction by Jerry and Esther Hicks. It's not a book about dating, no, it's about attracting what you want in your life. The affirmation goes, "I, Jen, see and draw to me, through Divine Love, those who seek enlightenment through my process. The sharing will elevate both of us, now." For those of you who think that is too out there, sorry, but I believe it! You also see someone petting a kitty, because that's one of the few things I am already spectacular at, there's a beautiful home, a view of the mountains, a gorgeous kitchen, and some flowers, which someone else will be keeping alive for me. Possibly they'll come in the middle of the night to tend to said flowers so I think it's all me.

Okay, here's more, there's some healthy food on there, a healthy chick who is doing some stretching, some words about inner peace, a landscaped space, probably designed and executed by the same person who breaks into my house each night to water my flowers, because Lord knows it's not going to be me doing it, and some happy and in love people.

Look, more! There's the top half of the yummy food, some money, which is being hung out to dry, so I hope that doesn't mean my future is going to involve money laundering, because I generally prefer to keep my crimes down to misdemeanors.

More words, "Your Best Life", "Get Inspired", and "Reach your peak!". Another picture of a nice house. I actually have three pictures of houses on here, I'll take any one of them or all three of them, however it works out. There is a dog on my vision board. I don't know why I put it there other than he was so darn cute I wanted him on there. I do want a dog someday assuming he or she can use the toilet, bathe him or herself, and entertain any future children I have with card tricks.

There are some other things on the board, a chick doing yoga with a cat, a tree with a poem, some pictures of laptops because I want one, another tree picture, some more pictures of strong, beautiful women (my intention is to be one of those women, not, you know, have one move in with me or anything).

My work here is done supply art.

Ocean Supply Art

You know why I like making art out of stuff that comes from the earth? Because it takes little to no talent on my end. Let me show you what I mean.

Isn't this beautiful? These are all shells that were gathered on the beach in Vero Beach, Florida. They have been laid down on a piece of wood, for now, until a plan for them is developed. I was thinking that half of them should move to Mexico and grow corn and the other half should stay here and get green jobs created by the economic stimulus package. And they should all send their money back to me.

I'm missing the point here, where was I? Okay, so the point is that these beautiful shells, made by nature, or sea urchins or whatever, are perfect and gorgeous just the way they are! I could hot glue them to a roll of toilet paper and sell it at the local art gallery! You cannot ruin something this beautiful!

Here are some closeups. As always I'm showing off my finely tuned digital photography skills:


No, it's not my camera, the shells are fuzzy.

When I finally make something out of these I'll let you know. For now it's on to my real job, which involves me, my pajamas, a mug of hot tea, the computer, and fantasizing about my future. Seriously! This is my job now! I love it!

Back to the grind...

You Know What's Fun? The Weather.

The weather for Big Pine Key, Florida, for the next week is pretty much the same every single day: High of about 76, low of about 68, partly cloudy. You know what partly cloudy means: sunny days with perfect, puffy, delicious white clouds floating around the clear, bright blue sky.

Why do I care about the weather on an island that is 1000 miles away? Because I like to hold a grudge, that's why.

When I was in the keys last week for vacation, the weather went more like this: Highs of 65. Lows of 55. If I was lucky. Unless you also consider it lucky to get to take part in Florida's historic record-setting low temperature streak? Yes? That's your cup of tea? Great, then the morning I woke up and the wind chill was 39 should be right up your alley! Did I mention the gale force winds (I don't know what the really means, but the winds knocked over my screened in tent thing, made my sandal-clad feet very freaking chilly, and also made our tent flap about in such a way that I thought it was about to take off for a trip to Jupiter, so I think that qualifies for "gale force")? Oh, and the terrible and severe thunderstorm that forced us to spend not only three hours in our van, but also to rescue everything out of our slightly leaky tent to spend the night in said van? Sleeping in a clammy, damp, cramped van on an air mattress that is bent and slightly elevated on one side (mine) because it doesn't really fit in the space it has been given is definitely an unforgettable experience.

But I'm not (that) bitter. We did cancel the 4 extra nights we had booked, skipped the Everglades, and shortened our vacation considerably. However, I did get some nice photos that could lead you to believe I spent the week in a tropical paradise.

Behold:Of course, these photos may also lead you to believe that the sun is perpetually setting in the Florida keys, and that it's always almost time for bed. You're right.

Actually, the vacation was a great success because I didn't do any damage to my delicate skin, because, you know, I didn't actually see the sun much. Also, do you remember how I felt the last time I came back from vacation? That did not happen this time, because I don't have to go back to the job that reminded me of Hades! In fact, on vacation I got totally psyched about all the awesome stuff I'm going to do coaching and developed a six week plan to get a firmer butt and great abs. Wait, no, I mean, for getting my website up, what kind of content I want to offer, and more.

Now it is time for me to sign off. I'll be back soon, I promise.

Camping Is Not For Sissies

What exactly is a sissy? I just looked it up and it means an effeminate man or boy or a timid or cowardly person. Camping is definitely not for a coward, especially the longish camping trip Anthony and I are about to embark on.

I like to pride myself on being one of those people who isn't into material things. I haven't bought new shoes for quite a while (other than running shoes, those need to be kept newish so you don't hurt yourself), most of my clothes bear the logo of one of my former employers and were given to me for free or at a steep discount, and my truck is old enough to drink. Seriously, it was born in 1988.

Yet somehow when we start to pull out all of the junk we need just to take a simple camping trip and be able to sleep, stay warm, prepare a meal, and light a campfire, I become overwhelmed by the amount of stuff it takes! And that's not even close to all of the stuff that we have in our house! We have milk crates filled to the brim with canned goods and paper towels, bags stuffed with beach towels and underwear, and camping gear coming out of our ears.

That's why I say camping is not for sissies. You have to find it, pack it, cram it, yell at it, drive it hundreds or thousands of miles away, unload it, keep it (kind of) clean, repack it, wondering why you can't get it to fit back in the same damn way it was before, drive it another few hundred or thousand miles, unload it, clean it, leave it in the dish rack or on the living room floor for two weeks, and then put it away. Exhausting! But worth it.

For the next week or two I'll be sleeping under the stars and showering infrequently, but if I ever get a chance to hit an Internet cafe, I'll check in.

Baking with style

Look what I made today out of paperclips, rubber cement, and number 2 pencils:


Hard to believe, right? Yeah, okay, it's really made from whole wheat flour, flax seed meal, molasses, brown sugar, and spices - it's a gingerbread cake!

I got all artistic with my photographs of it:

Well, at least I tried to. That way my blog would seem longer and you would be even more impressed than usual.

That's it for pictures of my cake. Did I say my cake? Whoops, I made it to bring to my parent's house for dinner tonight, so I guess it's "our cake".

I am mostly really impressed with this because it came out of the Bundt pan without breaking into a million pieces. I may make very delicious baked goods, but they are often not very attractive, it's kind of my calling card. Mmm, that carrot cake looks great, why is there a big dent in the middle? Oh, you dropped it when you were trying to get it out of the pan?

I am feeling more excited today than I was when I posted yesterday. I had my very last session with my life coach, Barbara, this morning. It was pretty much just a wrap up. When I started with coaching I had NO CLUE what I wanted to do and was in a job that made me feel awful. Now I'm free from that job and much, much happier, but it's time to get into the swing of things with my new career. I need to successfully hold a workshop and get some clients to get that sense of, "This is my career, look, I'm even getting paid to do it." All in good time. First I have to get tan (or less pasty, at least) in Florida.

Not Even Burritos

In the end not even burritos could make my mini-sized workshop come together. My girls had conflicts with work and lack of sleep, which means I get to practice my material on...no one. Oh well. Luckily I have plenty to keep my mind off my lack of refried beans, salsa, and feedback. Like, oh, I kind of have to pee. And I'm kind of hungry. And the TV is loud and flashy and full of bright and shiny colors.

See? There is plenty to keep me occupied.

Okay, I'm kind of bummed. I just realized this is sort of the end of the first chapter of my self-employment and life change stuff. Tomorrow is my last day with my awesome life coach, Barbara. I do feel ready to move on, specifically because I've moved into my life coaching course and have buddies to coach and be coached by, homework, and lots of supportive people in my life. It's the end of my first experiment in the world of life coaching, since my workshop is now officially...umm dead? Or at least comatose until I come back from vacation and revive it.

When I get back from vaca it's time to refocus on what I can do to gain clientele, to keep myself motivated, to continue to get published, to increase my coaching skills, etc.

Change is pretty much a regular part of my life, as much as flossing my teeth, filling up my gas tank, pulling Coconut's tail. Some things in my life are more stable than they used to be. For one, I've actually lived in the same town for more than four years. And I've lived in my house for three years (to the day!). When I was in my late teens and early 20's I lived in tons and tons of states and in all sort of different apartments, rental houses, and tents.

This is a change I chose, and it's a positive one. And now I have to pee.