Jumping the Kitty-Shark

I am super thrilled with the way the copies of my flier came out. I would post them here, except they'd look pretty much the same as yesterday's image, and that would be cheating.

Since I don't have much to write about today (I made no art and didn't accomplish much in the way of engaging in my new career, unless you think eating oatmeal is significant) so I'm going to do something easy, instead.

Cat pictures. You know how they say that a show is "Jumping the Shark" when they do something totally lame and you know that's it for the show? Often times that lame thing is adding a new kid or pet to the show to keep it fresh...you don't think that's happening to me and this blog, do you?? Let the pictures give you the answer.



It's Coconut in the tub. If I do not close the bathroom door while I'm in the shower often she is waiting at the edge of the tub when I finish my shower, just dying to lap up some of that warm, dirty, possibly soapy water. I do not know why she does this but I gather it's common with cats. Nola does it occasionally and sometimes even drinks out of the toilet bowl! I wish I had a picture of that. Sort of.

So, you know, the pics have nothing to do with anything, but they're cute, right? I just haven't been productive today, but that's okay because I got so much done yesterday. Oh! I did get an email from someone who really enjoyed my WNC woman article, and she shared her Etsy site with me, she makes some neat stuff! Check it out. Anthony was teasing me the other day because I was reading a different email from someone who enjoyed the article so he said, "reading your fan mail?" I never thought about it that way, but it's kind of flattering!

I have nothing else productive to say here, so have a great weekend and hey, maybe you can make some office supply art since I've been lacking in that department so badly.

Making Fliers Joyfully On A Budget

I thought I had my whole flier thing down pat. Meaning, I thought I could use this program online to do it and print it out and then go to Staples and get color copies made. Unfortunately, this fate did not await me.

Always up for a challenge reminiscent of 3rd grade art class, I made my own flier using only paper, rubber cement, a few swear words, a pair of scissors, some cat hair, and the inspiring words of Regis and Kelly. (Did I mention I love working from home? So much easier to watch TV if you're not afraid your boss is going to come into your office unannounced.)

This is what I came up with:


I think it works on a few levels. First off, it's sort of eye catching. Compared to the other fliers that will be up at the natural grocery store that are all covered in new age symbols and words like "Namaste", this bad boy will scream out, "read me, damnit!" Second, I think this says, "the person who made this flier obviously is living on a budget" I don't know if that's a good thing or not at this point, but hopefully the third thing it conveys is a sense of joy, which is what the workshop is all about.

I did black on my phone number on there for the web audience because, you know, I don't want you calling me in the middle of the night to ask how my cats are doing. If you want to pay me to coach you, that's a different story.

After my lunch settles and I do some more blogging, I'm going to give my business to Staples as planned, and make some color copies of this puppy. Actually, I guess it's more "kitty" than "puppy", considering all the cat fur stuck in it....

I Like My Chicken Fried

I was driving home from my mom's house today, quite happy about my productivity for the morning, when a song came on the radio that is now stuck in my head, and I'm afraid it may have moved in permanently.

I'm super lucky because in this case the lines I have stuck in my head are about fried chicken. Who doesn't want to keep singing a line about a dead chicken that's been battered and deep fried over and over and over and over? This is what is currently short-circuiting my brain:

You know I like my chicken fried
Cold beer on a Friday night
Pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio uh-up

No more! I don't like my chicken fried! I don't even eat chicken, and I generally try to stay away from fried foods. I don't really drink much beer, either. A pair of jeans that fits just right? Who doesn't like that? And sometimes I like the radio up, but not when it causes brain trauma like it has for me today. My song would be something go something like:

You know I like my veggies stir-fried
Room temperature red wine on a Friday night
Pair of jeans that aren't too tight
On my booty-yyy

What do you think? Should I switch career paths?

Anywho, today I finally secured a place to have my workshop. I have been hemming and hawing over this decision for what seems like forever, but really it's only been since last year. Ha Ha. I am holding the workshop in a restaurant called Oriental Pavilion. Classy, right? I didn't have to pay for the room, I just have to make my participants eat there. By force, if necessary.

Actually, my life coach has held things at this place before, and she suggested it and I finally listened to her. Also, last night I went to a guided meditation run by a massage therapist and a Celtic Shaman (you heard me) which was wonderful and at the end the massage therapist said I could use her space for a workshop sometime. Awesome, right?

I haven't been writing much lately, I've been focused on this workshop stuff. I did enter a contest last week put on by Skirt! magazine and I'll know the outcome of that on Friday. Also, I had signed up to blog for them and they sent a little application back, so who knows, maybe I'll have another place to write. One of my goals for March is to have my website up and running and to self-publish some books and have them available on my site.

Things are looking up, my friends. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have a flier or some other visual to post here. Until then, you're just going to have to picture me in a pair of jeans that's not too tight on my booty-yyy.

I'm Going To Join A Band

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on the couch, covered in furry beasts, unable to move anything save my right arm. First I was reading, because one arm is all that's necessary, but then I decided I wanted to be creative. I twisted around (upsetting one of the beasts) and used my single good limb to grab the cool travel sketch book my mom gave me for Christmas.

This is the masterpiece I created:


Doesn't it make you want to quit your job and join a band? Or at least start screen-printing T-shirts in your basement?

I also did some writing yesterday and lots of reality TV watching. Lame, but true. I was home alone for the evening and all my shows were repeats, frustrating! So, sadly, I got sucked into watching part of The Bachelor while I read. Not the kind of quality programing that enriches the soul, that's for sure.

Today should be a less brain-deadening day. I plan on heading to the gym in a few, then I have life coaching with Barbara at 11, and if all goes well I hope to take off to Asheville with my mom after lunch to FINALLY reserve a space to hold my workshop. It's been super frustrating for me to get this organized - I hate making phone calls and this is my first time in this process, so of course it's a new challenge. I am proud to say I think I've made a decision and I'm hoping my life coaching session will clarify that for me.

I also plan on going to a guided meditation class tonight. I planned on going to one in December, too, but bailed, and I want to get off my duff and go this time. It's something about a Chakra meditation? I already told the boy we're having an early dinner, so I should be good to go.

Wish me a productive day...

Not Funny Anymore

I haven't felt very funny lately. The blog hasn't been funny, I haven't been telling funny stories, even the cats aren't laughing at my jokes anymore.

One reason might be that I am no longer making office supply art and writing about it, namely because I no longer have access to lots and lots of office supplies and also I am not bored out of my mind anymore. I do have some paper clips and stuff lying around, but since I am happy these days, making landscapes out of paper clips isn't as necessary as it used to be. I think over the summer I may have perished if I didn't entertain myself, but these days I have other things to do. Somehow writing about these works of art made me funny.

Another reason the blog may be less funny is because I quit my job and can no longer afford to pay someone to write it for me. Hopefully by the end of the summer I can remedy that.

Until I'm either flush in the money department or I get bored enough to make a sculpture out of...something funny...I am going to have to find another way to amuse you. Like telling you about my housecleaning experience.

Today I was folding laundry and making the bed (which in itself is funny, because there was a cat under the covers so the bed ended up with a big lump in the middle of it, which I immediately disregarded) and thought, "how can I make this funny enough to blog about without resorting to juvenile humor?" I couldn't think of a way to do that, so instead I picked the obvious: I did something silly with my underwear.

Underwear is one of those things that just makes people laugh, right? Luckily over the holidays I obtained a few pairs of gift underwear, some of which are a slightly different style than I normally wear - namely when I put them on I can pull them so high up on my chest that they could double as a tube top. If I wore one out on the town with a pair of roller skates I could get a job serving Burgers and Fries in no time.

So I put them on. Over my clothes. And then cleaned the house. You know how people pay women to wear French maid uniforms to clean? Maybe I could start a business that involves me wearing giant underwear over regular clothes and scrubbing toilets. Anyways, I walked around wearing them, and I finally got a chuckle out of one of the cats! I wish I had a picture of the underwear extravaganza to show you.

I'm lying, I could totally take a picture of it right now and post it, I'm just not ready to embarrass myself that way at this time.

Phew, now I got nothing. I used up all my funny-mojo telling a stupid underwear story. Therefore, I am going to change the subject from my lack of funny to something completely different, and cross my fingers that you don't notice.

Guess what??? I got published again!


I wrote a column shortly after I left work, it's the one that Skirt! rejected because it didn't fit one of their current themes. After they didn't want it I sent it to WNC Woman, who published my last column. I hadn't heard anything from them and was wondering about it. At the same time I received the January copy of the publication in the mail, which was sitting on my entry table for days before I even bothered to crack it open.

When I did, last night, I started yelling and freaking out! There was a picture of me with my enormous underwear worn over my clothes on the front inside page! Kidding! But there was my name in the table of contents, in print again! I was having kind of a crappy day yesterday, so that was a nice surprise.

If I had a funny way to wrap this post up, I would certainly let you know.

Topics

Topic One: A year ago....

A year ago I started working at that job I didn't like. You know which one I mean, right? I think I may have mentioned it a few (thousand) times here. The first day I was nervous, and by the end of the week I was in tears, but I thought that would pass. Sadly, it never did.

Have my working conditions improved since I left the job on December 5th? I'm not so sure, look what I have to deal with now:

It's Coconut. Staring me down. Because I won't pet her when I'm trying to write! What gives? At least my boss at my old job left me alone to work in peace. Those days are long over, let me tell you.

Topic Two: Less Than Perfect Day

I wish I could say that today I was filled with light, sunshine, unicorns, rainbows, Leprechauns, etc, because I woke up and didn't have to go to work. Not quite.

I wanted to go to the gym early, but the weather wasn't so great. That's okay though, I had a chance to write and was thankful I didn't have anywhere I absolutely had to be. But when I was writing I wasn't completely feeling the vibe, and I didn't care for what I wrote all that much, which is always a disappointment.

I did get to the gym and it was successful in that I didn't hurt myself on one of the fancy machines - although I did feel sort of pathetic when a guy who had to be in his 70's could lift more weight than me on the adductor machine. Oh well, I'm building up my strength!

When I got home I checked my email and the editor of a paper I'd been in communication with about writing a column or blog said my writing was good but since I'm not local he doesn't know if it will work out. Hey, at least there was a compliment thrown in.

After checking my email and eating lunch I was determined to find a place to hold my workshop. I have been struggling with which town to hold it in (the one with all the hippies or the one with all the rich, retired folk?) and also finding a reasonably priced place in whichever location I choose. I thought I found a place, but upon driving to it realized that my clientele might be scared off by the sketchy individuals around the place.

Sigh. Now I'm home drinking tea, without a place for the workshop I want to hold in just over three weeks....

Topic Three: Money Well Spent

I was really bummed out driving home from the failed location mission, but then I realized that I pay someone a lot of money to coach me on these things, so I went home and emailed my life coach, looking for guidance and suggestions. That made me feel so much better!

I am proud of me - I'm pursuing something new and scary and I didn't fall into a black abyss of funk when it didn't work out right away. My life coach is certainly money well spent and I hope I can be that helpful to someone in the very near future....

Topic Four: Soup

My bosses (Nola and Coconut) are oddly out of sight at this point, so I'm going to take the rest of the day off. No more blogging, writing, or pressure to make art or be brilliant. I'm going to go make some soup and read. And that's it.

Oops, I spoke to soon. Coconut has requested I pet her immediately. Soup will have to wait...

New Year New You!

The first day of 2009...Nola woke me up early because she wanted to snuggle (actually a nice way to start the new year). After I got out of bed I realized it was too darn cold to go outside and run (but the rec center is offering 14 free days at the gym, so I did that instead). I also started a new blog today. One of my resolutions was to write in a gratitude journal every single day, so I am hoping that if I am also blogging about it every single day I'll keep it up! Also, I hope others will read it and be inspired and join me.

This is my first entry:

But this is the only time I'm going to post it here, you'll have to check out the other blog to see what I'm thankful for!

This time of year the TV and radio and Internet are absolutely chock-full of advertisements about being a better you, a new you, a thinner you, a younger-looking you, etc. I love the idea that everyone around the world is collectively resolving to improve themselves...but oh, how quickly it fades. I tried not to make any huge and sweeping resolutions for the year, but I certainly hope to make lots of art, do lots of writing, publish a few things, and start my life coaching business.

Also, I'd like to see my sink free from dirty dishes more frequently, so I guess I better get to work to make the resolution come true...