Seminars, Help!, Lists

Yesterday I was a "Keys to Excellence" seminar. And here I thought I was already excellent. I learned that for work/business I should be striving for Leadership Excellence, Employee Excellence, Customer Satisfaction, and Financial Results. Hmmm, guess what, I'm not feelin' it. In fact, in our workbook one question was: "How do you translate the corporate vision, within your circle of influence, to create meaning and purpose for your team?" Wow. I stared at the page for looonnnng time on that one. Finally I wrote "I don't think I do that :(" Yes, I really drew non-smiley face. My "circle of influence"? I have three employees under me and I doubt I influence them to do much. I would say my cats were under my circle of influence, but only when they are hungry. I drove home from the seminar depressed because my enthusiasm for the job I'm in now is not going to grow, it's just not a good fit for me. Which leads me to today's office supply art: You know the paper doll chains you used to make when you were a kid? It's a "HELP!" chain, highlighted to accentuate the words.

Amy asked me why I don't just quit. She asked what my reasons were for continuing to stay. As I was spouting them off she wrote them down. I had 18 of them. She's currently looking at the list and writing why each reason is stupid. Since I don't have the list to read from, I'll try my best to remember what some of the reasons were:

1. My boss will be mad at me
2. It's a "good" job with good pay and benefits
3. It's a Friday
4. I had chili for lunch
5. I'm afraid
6. My cats will be disappointed in me
7. I don't know what else I'd do
8. People will think I'm crazy
9. My resume will be spotty
10. I should wait until I've been here longer
11. Things could get better
12. My underwear aren't a good fit
13. Pizza tastes good
14. I'll never get another job ever again
15. I'll be poor
16. My boss will try to get me to stay
17. I could learn to like this job
18. My hair is brown

Okay, some of those aren't the exact reasons I wrote down, but really all of my reasons to stay are equally foolish as saying I'm not going to quit because I had chili for lunch. They just don't make sense. But I am still afraid.

So I don't end this on a totally uninspiring and miserable note, here is a picture of a rose I took last night while I was walking around the lake by my house. The roses will be gone for the winter soon (they have a house in Cancun) but for now they're still beautiful.

Have a good weekend!