R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D Find Out What it Means to Me!

After my boisterous, pompous and positive feelings yesterday concerning the fact that I had received no more rejection letters, it was obvious that the universe needed to knock me down a notch.

I got home from a long day and saw it: The letter addressed to me - in my own handwriting - with my own name as the sender. It was immediately obvious this was one of the self-addressed-stamped-enveloped I'd sent along with a query letter to a publisher. I could tell there was no monkey doing the hula with a check in its teeth inside this particular envelope. I took the letter to the bathroom to flush it down the toilet. I mean, to open it all by myself. The postmark said "Fox Valley, IL", so I knew it was a rejection from Sourcebooks, my number one choice. I knew it was not good news, but I hoped for another positive rejection like the one I received from Kensington, perhaps something along these lines:

Dear Jen,

You are incredible, but we can't even think about publishing your book because we could never contain or fully represent your awesomeness or pay you enough. Good luck in your search for someone who can!

But no, it was the dreaded form letter, basically patting me on the back and saying that even though I suck, so do thousands of other people who are trying to get published. I folded it up and stuffed it in a drawer. I took a shower. I ate enough dark chocolate to kill a family of Labradors. I made up funny phrases out of the letters in REJECTED:

Really Evil Jen Encourages Cats To Eat Ducks. Rigorous Exercise Justifies Eating Cookies, Tarts, Eclairs, Doughnuts. Reasonably Empathetic Jackrabbits Eating Christians Try Every Dish. Rejected Ejected Jens Evolve Continuously, Trying Everything Differently. Revolving Elderly Jazz Entertainers Cause Turtles Envy, Dude. Responsible English Judges Ever-Changing Tastes Evoke Distrust.

I could tell you more, but I think you get the idea. My plan now is to a) try to get query letters out to some other publishers before I get another rejection letter so I have a reason to live. Whoops, I mean, so I feel like I'm accomplishing something, b) design a logo for my blog, c) post said logo to blog and try to get more traffic pointed towards the blog and d) get more dark chocolate.