Wednesday, October 8, 2008

BBQs and Stuffed Shells and Stiff Drinks

At lunch time today I have to go to a BBQ. Yes, for me it's a chore. BBQ's usually have lots of food I am not crazy about. You know, like pulled pork and pulled chicken and pulled coleslaw and lots of white bread...yuck. But I have something to look forward to. Tonight Amy is coming over and in preparation for her visit I prepared stuffed shells last night, illustrated here:



In case you can't read the steps...
Step One - Sit on the futon and hope one of the cats makes the stuffed shells for you. I tried this for a quite a while last night. I even left the house to see if maybe they would be prepared by the time I got back. But NOOOOOO.
Step Two - Close your eyes and picture yourself making the shells. Yes, it's okay to have a stiff drink first. Maybe two. I did not actually have a stiff drink last night, but it seems like it would have helped. ALOT.
Step three - Boil water and cook shells. Make filling for shells. Note that the amount of cheese required for this recipe may induce death in those with pre-existing heart conditions. Be thankful that you don't care about silly things like cholesterol.
Step four - cry and swear when you burn your hand on the shells. Note to self: Items that were just removed from boiling water may be hot. Have another stiff drink. Maybe two.
Step five - Use a spoon to stuff cheese mixture into shell. When you realize this method isn't working, clean your hands by wiping them on your jeans and then stuff shells with your fingers. DO NOT LICK FINGERS BETWEEN STUFFINGS!
Step six - Pass out from exhaustion. Hope cats don't eat shells, as you've left them on the counter since you're somewhat delirious and also a little drunk.
Step seven (not illustrated) Put shells in fridge and leave them for someone else to bake the next day. Preferably an oven, because it's unlikely you can generate enough body heat or hot breath to properly brown the cheese on top.
Step eight (not illustrated) - Enjoy! I'll post some pics tomorrow of the real thing and hopefully Amy's satisfied, full stomach. Amy, be prepared to show me your stomach.

In other news...I meditated again this morning, mostly to recover from this epic cooking experience. Wish me luck at the BBQ...

1 comment:

WeightingGame said...

i actually surprised the crap out of myself a years ago when, at a BBQ (a fundraiser for juvenile diabetes, ironically), I tried pulled pork for the first time - they were actually roasting the pig right there, which was a bit freaky - and I loved it. Sriously, I couldn't believe it. I also love grilled corn on the cob. But I totally hear you on the "so much food" tip.
PS bad cat for not cooking your shells!