Sometimes Pictures Aren't Worth 1000 Words. They're Just Annoying.

I didn't want to forget anything that I wanted to tell you about today, so I drew a picture to remind myself:


Can you figure out what the heck I'm trying to tell you? The killer from Scream is singing? I'm making a pie filled with nuclear waste this weekend? I don't believe in giant dinosaurs? Good guesses!

First off, the pumpkin/fire/weights drawing from above:

Anthony emailed this picture to me today. He named it "Hell_Fire". I know I put a picture of our nameless, sexless pumpkin up yesterday, but I thought this was funny - is the pumpkin upset because of the fire? Or because it thinks I'm going to make it lift weights? Not sure.

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The mask/music notes are supposed to represent what we're doing tonight, Halloween night. We're going to see a friend and his band play at a place called "The Boiler Room". It's downstairs from another (gay)bar called "Scandals". Honestly, by the time this show starts tonight I'll probably be asleep in a pile of candy wrappers, half-eaten Snickers bars and silly string. I'm lying. I'm not even into Halloween enough to have Snickers in the house to half-eat. Kids don't come to my house, probably because the lawn is so unkempt and they think a couple of crazy cat-people live there. I don't bother buying Halloween candy because no one will ring our doorbell anyways. And then we'll be forced to eat it. Anyways, the plan is to go to this show, but if it really starts at 11 or midnight as rumored, I'll be in bed with the cats, sleeping.

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I drew a picture of the calendar I'm marking on to count down my last weeks here. The drawing of the calendar I made is so bad I'm embarrassed, can I change my answer and say that it's...a window with drapes on it? Yes,it's a picture of the window treatments I'm going to purchase this weekend. For my grandmother. Can I please move on? This is going nowhere.

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This weekend I plan on voting! In North Carolina we have early voting and there has been a huge turnout so far. I don't want to go too political on this blog, but that picture of the earth with the red "Non" symbol on it - it means I'm going to vote for the person who was not alive when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

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I'm not making nuclear pie - I'm making pumpkin pie. I'm going to make our carved pumpkin watch me cut up and cook one of its friends...maybe it can see into the future and that's why it looks so freaked out in the previous picture.

Wow, why did I draw so much crap on that illustration? Just killing time, obviously. The other drawings represent me sleeping, working on an art project involving a pink tree, and booking a rental car for when Anthony and I go visit the homeland for the holidays. I haven't been up North in four years! I can't believe it's been so long.

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Speaking of ridiculously long waits...it's been 15 flipping weeks since I sent my stuff to Ten Speed. And...someone help me, I can't remember, three or four weeks since I sent the follow up. I'm really starting to wonder if my mail going into some alternate universe - but my water is still running so obviously my utilities payment doesn't enter another dimension. Do you think it's something like how you always lose one sock in the dryer? You never lose a whole shirt or pair of pants. Maybe it's the same with submission packages to publishers, only they travel to a distant Galaxy, the rest of the mail goes to it's proper destination.

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I'm done pondering and done trying to explain my lame illustration. On Monday I'll have pictures of wonderful pies and trees and art projects and empty candy wrappers and me napping and the drool on my pillow...I love the weekends.

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Edited this afternoon to add Amy's hilarious ideas about my picture. I left her my illustration over my lunch break in order to hear her interpretation of my weekend...some highlights:

"A pumpkin from hell will force you to work out. If you
don't workout the grim reaper will show up at your door with a singing
telegram."

"It appears you'll be voting on two important issues:
1.)Voting against the annual T-Rex 'Round The Globe running event. 2.)The
legalization of mango-steering-fluid pie."

"...you hope to load your 1988 Macintosh computer into a
poorly designed car that desperately needs new tires and drive to a very large
modern art sculpture symbolizing your level of knowledge on the cloning
tadpoles. And then you'll make another piece of tree art. Surprise,
surprise."

Well, she got that last thing about the tree art right!